The Kimchi Kid Says The Cutest Things!

Showing off the dragonfly he caught.

After his bath today Thomas came into my room to say good night. He showed me his wrinkled fingers and said "Oh no! Look Mommy! My fingers are Grandmaed!"

Watching TV with his baby brother.

After he pooped I went in the bathroom to wipe his bum. He shouted at me "No Mommy! Don't look a my poop! Don' t look at my poop! It's a big dirty one!"

Super Thomas to the rescue!

Thomas wanted desperately to watch "Super Zero" on Youtube.
He said to his daddy " I want to watch 'Super Zero'! The flying one with the clouds! Like the new spiderman! And the many flying and airplane! 'Super Zero'! I want 'Super Zero'!"

After a few frustrating minutes of trying to find out what video he was talking about we realized he meant "SUPER HERO" and it was an X-men cartoon he'd watched.

When we explained his mistake to him he said "Oh, sowwie Daddy. Sowwie."

If you want the puppy to come to you, this is how you have to hold your hand! Words of Wisdom from the Kimchi Kid!

Thomas knows that his Daddy sometimes goes out at night. Usually they shower and get ready for bed together. If Daddy doesn't do it with him it means he's going out. Thomas doesn't like that so he tries to come up with a way to prevent Daddy from leaving.

"Daddy! You have to take a shower! Daddy you're dirty! Daddy you have to take a shower, take off your shirt and panties and 바지(pants)!"

After the shower when Daddy still isn't undressed and ready for bed.
"Daddy you have to take off your shirt! Daddy you have to take it off or you will be 아픈(painful)!"

He talks a mile a minute these days so I've decided to make a concerted effort to share some of his hilarious logic and quirky comments. Watch this space!

Kid's Cafes!

A kid's cafe is like a cleaner, nicer, alcohol-free version of Chuck E. Cheese. You always hear stories of parents getting drunk and in trouble with police at Chuck E. Cheese's in the USA but trust me, kid's cafes here are totally different!


We love kid's cafes and there are several in our area. We've been taking Thomas to them since he was 9 months old. The concept is generally a large play area with toys and blocks, a jungle gym/hamster cage/ball pit to climb and slid in, a cafe section for parents to relax and drink coffee at and several staff members to play with and moderately supervise the children. They tend to have a breastfeeding room and some infant bouncy chairs and exersaucers as well. It is a great place to go and relax with fellow parents, usually us mommies go but sometimes you see daddies there too. You can have some light snacks or order a meal and have a cup of coffee while your child runs around for 2 hours. It's a great way to turn your child into an exhausted, sweaty mess ready to fall asleep and give you a break! Hahaha...

My top tip for visiting cafes is to go early or go late!! You get 2 hours of play time in a cafe but most become crazy busy from around 1pm-5pm. Generally they open around 10am so an 11am start time is great. If you can't make it in the morning, after 6pm is usually slow. I'd also recommend NOT going on weekends unless you are going early or late for sure! It is so hectic then at every cafe and since fathers are usually off work the seating is even more limited as every child has both parents with them. Generally the cafes close at 9pm and offer food options so you can have dinner and relax while your child runs around like a maniac!

There are a few franchise cafes, Dalki Land, Little Bear and Little Prince, Chiro Chiro, etc. Little Bear, Chiro Chiro and Little Prince, are in our area, Bucheon/부천. Dalki Land has several locations, we've visited the Times Square Yeungdeungpo/영드포 and the Jamsil Olympic Park/잠실 올림픽공원.

Name: Little Bear Bucheon/부천점 (Charges for children over 12mths and for adults with a free drink.)
Best for: Young children under the age of 2.

Sorry, only have old pictures from Little Bear!

The cost for a child is 6,000won($6) and 4,000won($4) for an adult. But the adult gets a free drink-coffee, tea, fruit juice, etc.
Little Bear also offers arts and crafts activities once an hour for free which is nice. They have several ride on toys, a block area, a zip-line, a large climbing area, a ball room, a trampoline and a cool room with fans and balloons that small babies love. They also have a book nook and a Wii room.

The downside is they often cram as many families in as possible and they have no tables for you to sit at. This is common on weekends around 12-6pm so we avoid it then. Since it is across the street from us we've gone there the most over the past 2 years. They all know Thomas well and love to play with him, so we can easily spend 2 hours just relaxing while he runs around with the staff.


Name: Little Prince Bucheon/부천점 (A different style, charges for children over 12 months with a free drink, adults are free but you MUST buy a drink or food!)
Best for: Moms with babies and toddlers.

More old pictures, this time Little Prince! Sorry!

Adults are free and children cost 6,000won($6) but get a free organic juice. The catch is that they are a restaurant cafe, meaning that you MUST order from the menu! They do pride themselves on an MSG free and totally organic menu, but drinks start at 4,500won($4.50) and meals start at 12,000won($12). Each adult must order one item so it can add up fast if you are meeting friends.

They have a block area, floor piano, carousel swing and carousel, climbing area, mini train that goes in a circle under the climbing area and a small ball pit. They also have a system where they draw blinds down over the play area once every 3 hours and turn on UV lights to sanitize the whole place!
An interesting feature they offer is private rooms with large screen TVs to watch the CCTV on. This is great to sit and chat with friends and care for a young baby in. You can watch the older children play on the CCTV and the staff are good at watching them as well. They have exersaucers and bouncers for the babies too so it is easier to take the whole family here.
The other nice thing is that because it is a restaurant and you must order food, once the tables are full no more people can come in. It is often less busy inside as a result but if you arrive between 12-6pm you can often spend 1 hour waiting outside for a seat.
We've gone here a few times but we don't go as often because of the wait and the cost.

Name: I Like Dalki in Times Square Yeungdeungpo/영드포점 (Charges for children over 12mths and adults with a free drink.)
Best for: Older children, 5 and up.

The last of the old pictures, these are in I love Dalki!

Children are 10,000won($10) and they get 2 free train tickets. Adults are 5,000won ($5) and they get a free drink. The train is rather disappointing. It goes forward and then reverses back. Exciting at first but it lasts maybe 1 minute in total.
The actual play area here is small and cramped, not good for young children at all. It also gets very hot and overcrowded quickly. They have a ball pit with swings inside, a big bouncy area, two tube slides and a zip line.
Other than that there is a room with a giant teddy bear to bounce and climb on, but generally the older kids monopolize it and make it dangerous for toddlers. There is next to no staff to watch the kids and control the chaos here as well. There is a small reading and computer area, but nothing special. They have an art school you can pay extra to do activities in, but again, this is only really good for older kids.
Since Dalki is a big brand, they have many products available in a gift shop at the entrance which you must go past to get into the play center. Not too great for grabby toddlers! One cute thing they do offer is character cookies, in the shapes of Dalki and her friends' face. Overall the only good thing is the central location. We visited twice but have never wanted to go back.

Name: I Like Dalki Jamsil Olympic Park/잠실 올림픽공원점 (Charges for children over 12mths and adults with a free drink).
Best for: Day trips for the whole family with great food!

Nice newer pictures with the DSLR! I'll take more of the other cafes next time!

It is the same price as Times Square Yeungdeungpo/영드포 but there is no train!! It is the most expensive we've visited.

Children are 10,000won($10). Adults are 5,000won ($5) and they get a free drink.

This location is nice because it is in Olympic Park and so you can play outside and visit the park as well. Make a full day of it! They have a large restaurant area and offer a specialty menu of all natural and organic foods. The quality is very good, the food is delicious and healthy. They have the option to make tofu if you'd like as well.

The whole cafe is full of natural wood and they have some cute touches like airplanes and cars flying and driving around on the ceiling. The ballroom is suspended in the air. They also have a jumping area, zip line and tube slides just like in Times Square. Their reading area is larger and includes some games. Their art center is more integrated, it is an open concept and looked more interesting and suitable for younger ages. It was still very busy with minimal staff but it was more open, with lots of natural light. They had a small area with blocks and exersaucers for babies as well which Times Square was lacking.
If we want to have a nice day out, we may go back but it was quite a trip from our home in Bucheon.

Name: Chiro and Friends/부천 뉴코아점(Charges for children over 12mths with free tokens for coin-op rides and the train, charges for adults).
Best for: Zoning out on video games or TV.

Sorry no pictures of Bucheon of my own!Ilsan location.

This is probably the most disappointing Kid's Cafe in Bucheon. Children are 7,000won($7) and adults are 3000won($3). They do give you 4 tokens for the coin operated rides and train which is nice.

This kid's cafe has several locations, we've also visited one in Ilsan/일산. It is very basic, with a small climbing area and ball pit, a few ride on toys, a small playhouse with books inside, a few coin-op rides and a Wii/ TV theatre area which I HATE! I do NOT want to take my child to a kid's cafe only to have him sit and zone out with a TV show or Wii game!! It has a small train which you get to ride once or twice and it basically goes around in a circle 3-4 times.
There is so much wasted space, it feels half empty and the Bucheon location has the cafe with seats for parents tucked in the corner so if you sit down you can't see your kids! Ilsan at least was more open but they had a hallway and bathrooms behind a jumping area that kids could easily wander out of sight in. Both location have limited staff and the Ilsan location actually had a dangerous setup of a carousel and jumping area too close together. Our little friend almost got squished between them!


Name: Party Play Time in Home Plus/부천상동점. (Charges for children over 12mths, adults are free.)
Best for: EVERYTHING!! We love it!!

Only pictures of the party room at Party Play Time, sorry!

Last but not least is Party Play Time in our local Home Plus!! It is by far our favorite cafe to visit!

Children are 8,000won($8) and adults are free. There is no requirement to order food or drink here! So this makes it the most cost effective for both parents to go and have fun with the kids. They also restrict the number of children at any time, so while it can get busy it isn't too crazy.

This kid's cafe is probably twice the size of every other cafe. They have a train that kids and adults can ride on that actually goes in a large loop around half the cafe. They have a free art area with a real car-a MATIZ- that you can paint! There are paid art crafts as well. There is a large area full of blocks, puzzles, connector kits and a small house with kitchen goods and dinosaurs to play with. The ball pit here is inside the train loop and so the kids have to climb through a hamster tunnel setup to get inside. They also have a large bouncing area and a race track with cool little go-kart things to ride. They've got several electronic games such as a giant floor piano, dance grid, air hockey, video games, stationary bicycle video games, whack-a-mole and basketball shooting. In addition, they have some interesting electronic science activities like a magnifying glass TV, animal sounds, shapes making and some other things that I don't fully understand due to my lack of Korean. Best of all is a separate area with a mini ball pit, exersaucers and ride on toys for kids under 2! They have a lot of staff who are friendly and helpful.

Given the choice, Thomas will ask for this cafe anytime! They really do a great job watching over the kids and there is a small cafe inside where parents can have coffee and chat. They also offer some cooking activities like cookie art for a small extra fee.

Unfortunately we always have so much fun I have no pictures to share other than the party room, but I will next time!

I'll try and update this blog post later with nicer pictures and websites if I can.

Cheers!

Happy 3rd(4th) Birthday Thomas!

The happy 3/4 year old opening a gift!

In South Korea when you are born you are generally considered to be 1 year old. So when we went to a local kid's cafe to celebrate Thomas' 3rd birthday, they put a "4" on the cake to reflect his age in Korea. Luckily he knows to answer that he is 3 in English, 4 in Korean but it was confusing for a lot of people! Hahaha..
East Asian Age Reckoning - Korea

Koreans generally refer to their age in units called sal (살), using Korean numerals in ordinal form. Thus, a person is one sal during the first calendar year of life, and ten sal during the tenth calendar year.

The 100th-day anniversary of a baby is called baegil (백일), which literally means "a hundred days" in Korean, and is given a special celebration, marking the survival of what was once a period of high infant mortality. The first anniversary of birth named dol (돌) is likewise celebrated, and given even greater significance. Koreans celebrate their birthdays,^[10] even though every Korean gains one 'sal' on New Year's Day.^[11] Because the first year comes at birth and the second on the first day of the lunar New Year, a child born, for example, on December 29 (of the lunar calendar) will reach two years of age on Seolnal (Korean New Year) , when they are only days old in western reckoning.^[12]

In modern Korea the traditional system is most often used, mistakenly even when talking to non-Koreans. The international age system is referred to as "man-nai" (만나이) in which "man" (만) means "full"^[13] or "actual", and "nai" meaning "age".^[11][14] For example, man yeol sal means "full ten years", or "ten years old" in English. The Korean word dol means "years elapsed", identical to the English "years old", but is only used to refer to the first few birthdays. Cheotdol or simply dol refers to the first Western-equivalent birthday, dudol refers to the second, and so on.

The Korean Birthday Celebrations by the lunar calendar is called eumnyeok saeng-il (음력 생일, 陰曆生日) and yangnyeok saeng-il (양력 생일, 陽曆生日) is the birthday by Gregorian calendar.

For official government uses, documents, and legal procedures, the Western age system is used. Regulations regarding age limits on alcohol and tobacco use, as well as the age of consent, are all based on the Western system (man-nai).

This system can be pretty confusing, so I always stick with just my Western age. What woman really wants to be a year or two older? Hahaha...

We're coming up on the baegil (백일) for Graham and I plan on doing it traditional style this time, especially since Grandma will be visiting us for the first time ever!

Here are some pictures from the 3rd/4th birthday! Enjoy!

The cafe served rice, salad, pork cutlet, chicken nuggets, french fries and orange juice for all the kids.

The Cafe supplied an MC for the party. Thomas got to sit up front and be celebrated by his friends!The MC released a confetti bomb that thrilled the whole crowd!

The lovely photos were courtesy of our friend Shane Lee of the blog Family Lee Together!
Thanks Shane!

What's on Mommy Cha's mind?

 

I used my blog to make this lovely word cloud on Wordle.
Guess we know what is on my mind these days! :D

Graham 성호 Cha!! 12:06pm, April 12, 2011, 4.16kg, 55cm.

Despite all our hard work and preparation, Graham was stubborn and refused to budge. He also measured quite large so the lovely midwives at Bless Birth had no option but to refer us elsewhere.

We decided at this point our only options were a repeat C-section or a very expensive attempt at a VBAC in Mediflower. My husband and I discussed our options and we chose the best choice for our family - the repeat VBAC.

Despite having had a not so great experience with our first unexpected C-section we did know that I healed exceptionally well with a very minimal scar. We decided that it was best to work with the same surgeon that we used the first time. We also knew how and what to prepare for the post-op care this time so we were confident that our experience would be better. In addition we had the support of our Morning Calm doula, Karen Zamperini.

I visited the doctor and explained our situation. He performed an ultrasound and was surprised to see that Graham was measuring at 4.73kg-a full kilogram larger than Thomas was when he was born! While the previous doctor we had spoken to regarding a VBAC was terrified that I was almost full term, our doctor was rather nonchalant and scheduled us for a C-section 4 days later. I was surprised but appreciative as I had hoped for Graham's health to at least have a chance at labour. If we started labour before the scheduled day, we would have an emergency C-section. But Graham was very stubborn and we had no signs of labour whatsoever.

The morning of April 12th we were very excited and eager to greet our second son. Karen joined us and took some great photos of me saying good-bye to the first Kimchi Kid, driving myself to the hospital and waiting to go in to see the doctor. It was great to have her there and she was determined to help me to breastfeed as soon as I was out of recovery.

At the hospital we were asked a few basic questions, but one question I found very odd. They asked what type of C-section I wanted. My husband explained to me that they could perform an operation that made it easy to conceive a 3rd or a type that wasn't as easy. My husband immediately replied that we were done with 2, but I was worried that he perhaps didn't fully understand what they were asking. Just in case I asked for the easy-to-conceive-#3 style, because I didn't know if they would tie my tubes or something otherwise!

We then went to the delivery and nursery floor and that was when things started to go slightly wrong. I'd hoped that my husband could stay with me and come in the operation room, but they told me he could not. I was then instructed to undress, put on my robe and lay on the bed. After 10minutes by myself they realized I needed some translation help and brought my husband in. I was glad to see him as I was feeling lonely and teary, not the feelings I wanted to have at this point. They then escorted me into the operating room and he left.

There was a male nurse who tried to explain to me what to do next, which was comical and confusing. He kept talking about "shrimp, make a shrimp back" which meant nothing to me. Turns out they wanted me to curl up like a shrimp on my side to receive the spinal anaesthetic. I laughed at this and did as they asked. It is quite hard to do this move when you are 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant with a huge belly! The male nurse tried to help hold me and the doctor of anaesthesiology told me what she would do. They would make 2 attempts and if it failed, they would have to use a general anesthetic. I replied that it was fine, when I'd had my son she had done it successfully on the first try and I was 15kg/30lbs heavier that time!

It didn't work. It was horrible. I've never had such an awful feeling in my whole life. Just typing this makes me feel physically ill. She tried twice and then they had to bring my husband in. I was hysterical. It was so, so awful. I cried and cried, I apologized to my husband for being weak and told them not to try a third time. I couldn't allow them to do that to me again. I was so upset because I could only have the general anesthetic now and that meant I would miss the birth of my son. I cried and held my husband's hand as they made me count backwards into oblivion.

When I started to wake in the recovery room, the nurses brought Graham in to me. I will never forget seeing my beautiful baby boy for the first time. He was wearing a little white cap and they latched him onto my left breast. He suckled away, staring at me with one little eye opened. I was so happy to see him! I thought he looked just like his big brother and I was so in love! After that brief moment he was whisked away from me and confined to the nursery for the next 24 hours.

I was so happy that they allowed me that brief moment, and that first latch. The rest of my time in hospital went very smoothly. Doumi stayed with me the first 3 days and nights. She was so amazing, it made my experience so much better. Knowing what to expect and being prepared made the whole post-partum recovery a lot easier. We had a brief bout of bad latch in breastfeeding but the lactation consultant on staff was awesome and helped immensely! We had Graham with us all day and he stayed in the nursery from his 9:30pm bath time until 5 or 6am. They had a strict cup feeding policy in their nursery and the extra rest I feel really helped me to recover. We were able to go home at noon on Saturday, so I was very happy that things went so smoothly in the post-partum recovery department.

Since then he has been feeding and sleeping so well. He is nowhere near as fussy as his big brother was and he has been so good! We're truly blessed that he is healthy and happy!

VBAC Update!

Come out anytime Baby Graham!

Well Baby Graham didn't arrive in March despite the best guesses of everyone involved. This meant we had to go for a 39week check up with the midwife.

That was when we received bad news. Baby Graham's head is getting bigger and the midwife is now concerned that with such a large head there will be too much strain on my scar if we go past 40weeks. Previously she had said she would allow me to go until 41 weeks at her clinic, but now we're only allowed to 40weeks and 1day. If Graham doesn't come naturally on his own by then, we're going to have to change to a hospital.

Unfortunately, the odds of a hospital here in Korea allowing me to attempt to VBAC after 40weeks, especially with a baby who is measuring large, are slim to none. As one doula told me, I'd have to "show up pushing" and basically that is something my husband and I are not comfortable with. I can only go so far without his support as well, so I'm looking into options.

The other midwife we've spoken to on the phone regarding this has said she wouldn't take me unless I went to Mediflower and had Dr. Chung back her up. Due to the distance and the cost of the clinic(TRIPLE what we'd pay here) we had ruled it out as an option already. We had hoped she would be willing to handle us if we came to her clinic but she won't consider it.

There is another large women's hospital down the street from us. According to Korean mom's cafes it offers VBAC but again, the rules are strict. Since I've not had any examinations or care there, it may not be an option. We're going to check into it nonetheless as a possible back-up plan.

For now though we are working on all available natural options to get Graham moving out on his own.
In addition, we've focused all our energy on Monday, April 4th 2011 as the birthdate. 4/4/11 sounds good to me!
So please send us positive energy and vibes for a smooth, natural VBAC on Monday!

Thanks so much!
XOX Mommy Cha and Baby Graham

The WHY of my VBAC.

My first big baby, the Kimchi Kid, cuddling up to my big baby belly.

I realize it has been 2 months since my last post, for that I apologize.

Things have been busy for us with our business, work and life in general. I've been focusing on preparing myself for the birth as well as preparing our cluttered home for the arrival of baby Graham Seong Ho. (Graham is the middle name of my father and paternal grandfather, Seong is the same first Korean character as the Kimchi Kid's name.)

Through out this process I really have come to several realizations as to WHY I want to VBAC despite the difficulty of doing so in South Korea.

My first reason was for my family. I want to be able to be there for BOTH my sons from day one, not trapped in a hospital bed, unable to see or care for them until a week or more later. I worry so about how the Kimchi Kid will adjust to the new arrival and I want to be sure that he knows I still love and care for him. I've never been away from him for very long, never longer than a day since he was young, and I think it would be hard on us both.
I know as well that breastfeeding the Kimchi Kid was a painful and difficult process that lasted 2-3 weeks, most likely due to bad latch and our separation for the first 5 days of his life. I don't want to repeat that with baby Graham. I want to be able to breastfeed without the blood, pain and tears that I suffered through the first time and I believe a VBAC will enable me to do so as I can be with my newborn from the start.

My second reason was for my own personal health. A C-section is major surgery with the possibility of major complications. I was lucky that I healed quickly and easily the first time but there would be no guarantees the second time. That being said, it still took me over a month to be able to walk without major pain, and over a year before the sensation returned to my abdominal area. It was very strange to scratch my stomach and feel nothing for so long. Having a VBAC will allow me to heal even faster and return to my family in terms of walking, standing and caring for a newborn. It will also allow me to have the chance to bond earlier and easier with Graham.
I have educated myself thoroughly regarding the risks of a VBAC but I really feel that they are slim compared to a secondary C-section. The most common concern is Uterine Rupture with a VBAC. The incidence of uterine rupture with VBAC in a mother who has had a low transverse incision is approximately 0.2–1.5%. This was the incision style I had.
The reasons behind my first C-section were poor. I was only truly in labor perhaps 12 hours. This is very short for a first time birth. I wasn't given any drugs to ripen my cervix or speed up my labor. I was simply in pain and denied pain relief with a C-section the only option being provided to me. Despite my best efforts at preparing, I was sorely unprepared and stressed at the idea of transferring to a different hospital at that moment. While we made the decision to continue to try for the natural birth, not having a doula, any labor support or suggestions on how to reposition and avoid back labor meant our resolve quickly ran out. I was in pain without relief and my husband couldn't handle seeing me that way. We had a C-section, much to the satisfaction of our doctor who 100% believed we would have one from the start.( A warning sign we completely missed!)

My third reason for a VBAC is that I am an excellent VBAC candidate. I had a low, transverse incision. I did experience labor and had no complications of my health nor my son's. I healed quickly and easily. It has been more than 18mths since I had my surgery. My blood pressure and hemoglobin levels are all ideal. My weight gain has been right on target. I've exercised and done my best to maintain the proper nutrition during this pregnancy. I feel great and it shows!

I've built a solid team of supporters, my doula from Morning Calm Doulas, Karen. My closest Korean friend Jo, who had a natural birth with a midwife here 3 years ago. My husband who learned from the first birth and has been more proactive this time around. My midwife, Midwife Seo, who informed me that her only purpose will be to watch and catch, the birth is up to me and my baby. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded with so many people who are willing to work with me and baby Graham to have the birth we want.

Next time I post, I hope to be posting about our successful VBAC!

Why I am Going to VBAC- Part 3: Options and Resources

Hard to believe bringing these little feet into the world is such a drawn out and stressful process at times!

This is it, the 3^rd and final portion although things haven’t been finalized yet.

After I made the decision to switch doctors and VBAC my husband had a conversation with the mother of one of his students. This mother happens to be the doctor who performed my 1^st C-section. When he informed her of our decision, she decided to “educate” my husband as to the dangers of VBAC and the benefits of a repeat C-section. Basically, she scared the crap out of him and I had to do some major convincing. I arranged a meeting with Mama Seoul/Karen of Morning Calm Doulas. She will be my doula and has also been a very vocal and positive advocate for VBACs since I met her. I informed her privately that she was going to have to do her best to “sell” VBACs to my husband and she agreed to take the challenge.

Luckily the meeting went well and he relaxed enough to drop his opposition to VBAC although he was still not 100% on board with the hospital choice. This was something that would crop again later, but I didn’t realize it at the time.

Karen lent me an excellent book, “The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Better Birth’’ by Henci Goer. It was a fascinating and excellent resource that I devoured within hours! I found so much practical and clear information that I could easily share with my husband between the pages of the book. I also shared it with a pregnant friend who had a vaginal birth the first time but with a negative hospital experience. Things were looking up, I was feeling positive and empowered about my VBAC! But of course, things are never as easy as they seem.

After our latest appointment with Dr. Chung at Medi-Flower my husband had finally had enough. He decided he disliked the doctor and no longer wanted me going all the way to his clinic, a 1.5 hour drive from our home. We had an argument, I cried, he refused to concede and I was back to square one.

Thankfully my closest Korean friend was a big proponent for natural birth and was willing to support me any way she could. We spent an afternoon searching Korean websites for information regarding VBACs in Korea. We found 2 options in our immediate area plus a natural birthing center I had recommended to my pregnant non-VBAC friend. I called Lisa Fincaryck of Birthing in Korea who is another doula friend of mine who also speaks Korean very well and has worked in many different Korean hospitals. She informed me that for 99.9% of Korean VBAC births, you have to be the IDEAL candidate for a VBAC for them to even consider taking you on. Very often a “maybe” is actually a “NO” and a client of hers had even been turned away from her hospital of choice WHILE IN LABOUR because the doctor simply changed his mind. Her best advice was to consider contacting a Korean midwife who had experience with VBAC, Rosa/Kim Ok Jin of Okbirth. She agreed to contact her for me first as they are quite close and would contact me later. This was very exciting to my Korean friend as she had given birth with Kim Ok Jin at her clinic in Asan! While it was still a distance away, it was another option to present my husband.

Surprisingly enough, Rosa/Kim Ok Jin recommended we try the birthing center that is 400m from our apartment, Bless Birth of Bucheon. She was willing to take me on as a client but due to the distance and my husband’s reluctance she said we should try our closest option first. I called Karen and she also recommended trying this option after hearing what we had found. IF I am forced for whatever reason to have another C-section, the hospital will still be in our own area and my husband’s concerns about being able to see me and the baby if we are hospitalized would be relieved.

As it stands now we have an appointment Friday morning at Bless Birth to meet and discuss our VBAC with the midwives and nursing staff. Hopefully things will go well and we can focus more on the preparedness part of the VBAC journey! To that end we will be doing the Hypnobabies Home Study program.

I’ve decided to compile all the links to people, clinics and resources I’ve talked about so far in my lengthy blogging!

Natural Birthing Centers:

Rosa/ Kim Ok Jin’s OK Birth center in Asan http://www.okbirth.com/xe/

Bless Birth in Bucheon http://www.blessbirth.com/

Dr. Chung’s Medi-Flower OBGYN and Natural Birth Center in Seocho http://www.mediflower.co.kr/index.htm

Doulas:

Lisa Fincaryck http://www.birthinginkorea.com/

Karen Zamperini http://www.morningcalmdoulas.com/

Other Resources:

“The Thinking Women’s Guide to Better Birth” by Henci Goer http://www.hencigoer.com/betterbirth/

Hypnobabies Self Hypnosis for Childbirth http://www.hypnobabies.com/

Hypno Birthing, The Mongan Method, Self Hypnosis for Childbirth http://www.hypnobirthing.com/

Informative blog about Cesareans http://www.theunnecesarean.com/

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

Mommy Cha

Why I am Going to VBAC- Part 1: Birth of the Kimchi Kid

My baby is getting so big!!

* WARNING-VERY LONG POST!!

When we first found out we were pregnant with the Kimchi Kid, we were ecstatic!
My husband called it, I was feeling ill and we had started trying to conceive, so he said to me "You're pregnant!". I laughed him off, no way we hit it on the first time we tried! 1 week later I took the test and surprise surprise- we were pregnant!

From that day on we entered the Korean medical birthing system. Not really knowing what to expect and not having any resources to reference here we did what we thought best.

The first hospital we went to was recommended by the mothers of many of our students. However it was so busy that after 2 visits with 2 different doctors and being told we couldn't make appointments even 1 month in advance due to their busy schedule, we changed.

We visited a woman's clinic in our building with a very sweet older female doctor. She wouldn't be able to deliver but would do our prenatal care and she promised to attend the birth to support me. We were very happy and I crawled into her clinic several times throughout the next few months due to undiagnosed gallstones that were causing me great pain and sickness.

When it got close to our due date, we went to the hospital she had recommended but I didn't like the doctor. He was an older Korean man who spoke only to my husband and made no attempt at English. I decided we needed to try another option, so we went to the "expensive" hospital in our area.

"Expensive" in Korea was a relative term we discovered. We had been having ultrasounds every 2 weeks when we went to the woman doctor. Again, 1st time parents, we had no idea this was not normal. We paid around $20/20,000won each time. The "expensive" hospital charged $30/30,000won. Not much more but way too much according to many Koreans we spoke to! But the benefit of the "expensive" hospital, Samsung Mirae, was that the doctor spoke excellent English and was willing to speak to me and not just my husband! I was sold!

Around this time I decided we would try Hypnobirthing in preparation for our birth. While my husband was initially skeptical, he quickly warmed up and became a wholehearted supporter of my plan for a natural birth and Hypnobirthing.

As part of our classes we were given a Korean and English birth plan. We took this to our English speaking doctor at Samsung Mirae. He asked for some time to read over it but later agreed to everything we asked, including no shaving, no IV, a private room, the chance to move around at will, light food and beverages, cutting the cord after it ceased pulsing, etc. We were thrilled that we had found such an excellent doctor who was so forward thinking!

As we approached our due date, our doctor informed us that our son was measuring over 4kg. In South Korea, a 4kg or greater baby is considered an automatic C-section. We scoffed at this, stating that my hips could handle it and we would be fine. Nevertheless he asked us to have a consultation with the surgeon. We laughingly obliged him, thinking that it wouldn't hurt and it would reassure him.

When I went over my due date, I was given 1 week before induction would be considered. Friday was the induction day so with my Hypnobirthing instructor's support, we focused on Wednseday, May 7, 2008 as the date that the Kimchi Kid would arrive naturally! We put all our positive energy and thoughts into this in order to avoid an induction.

Tuesday May 6, 2008 I woke up feeling fluish. I just felt crampy and crabby. I remember calling my husband at 4pm crying, asking him to come home as I felt miserable and wanted him there. We had a house guest visiting from Japan and she arrived home around 6pm. At this point we realized I was in labour, and we began timing. I spent most of my time listening to my relaxation tracks on the ipod, spending the contractions sitting on the toilet where I was most comfortable.
My husband and our guest amused themselves playing Nintendo Wii and checking on me.

By 9pm our contractions had moved to around 4 minutes apart. I told my husband to call our hospital and they said to come in when they were 3 minutes apart. I had passed a large amount of mucous and fluid by this point as well. 1hour later we left for the hospital!

Our arrival at the hospital was met with a lot of confusion. We were placed in a bed in a general ward area. It was empty, but there was a woman in the OR nearby crying in pain. I was told to lay on the bed and labour until they could check me. My husband asked why we were not going to the private room we had requested which resulted in a lot of hushed consultation between the staff members.

They finally moved us to our room, and I was so happy to get off the bed! A nurse came in to shave me, and insert an IV. We laughed her off and she was shocked! They had no clue regarding our birth plan, which looking back should have been a red flag. My doctor came in and told me I was doing great and could labour on the toilet but would have to move for delivery, which was fine. The toilet was most comfortable for me to sit on and I sat there in the dark listening to the ipod while my husband took a nap on the bed. Upon admission I was 3cm dilated. The nurse said she expected us to deliver in around 7 hours.

Around 2am, the nurse came in to check my dilation again. Moving from my comfort zone of the toilet and dark bathroom to the hard, flat bed with bright lights was unsettling. She then made me lay flat on my back for the exam. It seemed to me she was taking forever to check me, and had strapped the monitor on my belly. I asked her what she was waiting for and she replied she was waiting for contractions. I replied I was having them, check me NOW! Finally she checked me and to our great disappointment had only moved to 4cm.

As soon as she was done I moved back to the toilet, only to find I was unable to get back to my relaxed state. Even worse, I was now suffering strong contractions in my lower back. I was struggling to deal with this back labour as my contractions were so close together and so long, I had no real relief. I sent my husband to ask for an epidural which was when we received a great shock!

According to the nurse, I could not have an epidural. Having expected this to be an option, we demanded to speak to the doctor. He came in and informed us that due to my excess weight(over 90kg) they had no needles large enough for the epidural. I had the choice of transferring to the local University hospital, which was old, dirty and had a bad reputation, or having a C-section. I chose to continue labouring, insisting that I could do it on my own.

This new stress was not helpful to returning to a relaxed state and I quickly devolved into a bawling, miserable mess. After another hour I begged my husband to "Cut me open and take my baby out!". He called the nurse and within minutes I was IVed, shaved and wheeled into an operating room full of people. I remember being moved onto the operating bed and being told they would be inserting a needle in my spine for the anesthetic. I thought it was odd that I couldn't have an epidural but they could give me a spinal for surgery. I was in such pain I remember shouting "Contraction!" at them with each contraction as they prepared to insert the needle.

They made it on the 1st try, despite their worries that it may not work, and I was washed with cool pain relief. I thanked them with tears in my eyes and then said I could continue to labour if that was ok. They laughed and I was already cut open and my son was being born. It was the most curious feeling, the tugging and pulling, it really felt like he was coming out vaginally not abdominally. They showed him to me briefly then whisked him away. The doctor said everything was fine and he was being cared for in the nursery. I was wheeled into the recovery room and heating blankets were heaped on me. I was shaking with cold and my teeth were chattering, but they finally brought my son to me and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Everything else was gone, the pain, the stress, the failure to have a natural birth, etc. We had a beautiful, healthy baby boy!

Heaped with blankets in the recovery room, looking at my gorgeous son!

I was wheeled into a 2 person room and told that I had to lay flat on my back for the next 18 hours or I would suffer the worst headache of my life. The Kimchi Kid was put in the nursery and my husband was given a "ticket" to check him out when needed. I was exhausted and sent my husband home so I could rest. The silly man slept a few hours and then went to work, much to the shock of our school and my annoyance! Unfortunately he also took the ticket with him, which meant nothing to me until later.

Around noon the mother of some of my students arrived to check on me. She was also a nurse and spoke excellent English, so I was very happy to see her. She asked to see the baby and I sent her to the nursery to get him for me as I also hadn't seen him since the birth. She returned with the worst news- we couldn't have MY baby without the ticket! My husband wasn't able to return to the hospital until 4pm so I had no chance to see my son without the ticket. It was very frustrating and upsetting to say the least!


When my husband finally returned, I was so happy to see and touch my beautiful son. But seeing as I had to remain flat on my back for many more hours, the most I could do was awkwardly hold him on my chest.

My first chance to touch my son, more than 12hours after his birth.

Holding my son for the first time, more than 12 hours after his birth.

When he became hungry we had to return him to the nursery as we had no support and no clue that we could even attempt breastfeeding at this point. Around 6pm that evening another woman who had also had a C-section was wheeled into my room. We both slept most of the evening and around midnight her mother, father and husband came into the room with her baby. The baby quickly became fussy and was crying, causing arguments between the family members and disturbing my rest. Luckily a nurse came, whisked the baby away and shooed the men out. Her mother stayed in the room for the night and this was also when I first realized that no one was taking care of some important things for me. My poor husband had to take care of many messy and vital bodily functions for the first few days of recovery.

I moved to a private room the next day as soon as I could sit up. I wanted to have my son with me as much as possible and begin breastfeeding. The lactation consultant came and started me off, we seemed to do very well! But when night came, back to the nursery Thomas went. I was unable to get out of bed and walk and nurses would not bring him to me for feeding. My husband snores so badly that I couldn't have him spend the night so I had to wait until morning to see my son again and try feeding. By the 3rd day he was getting the hang of it and I kept him in the room with me all day. I had to send him to the nursery again at night but on the 4th day I was walking around and holding him more, feeding him well. It was also the first time he really seemed to open his eyes and look at me, 4 days after his birth! He was so sleepy and kept his eyes so tightly scrunched we had no idea if he had the grey blue eyes we had hoped for or not! (They were but quickly changed to brown.)

The first time he really looked at me, 4 days after birth!

By the 5th day I was healed enough to convince my doctor that we could go home. It was a wonderful homecoming for us and we were so thrilled to have our gorgeous son in our own home! I also met the doumi ajumma, or helper aunt, who would stay with us for the next 2.5 years.

Welcome home! 5 days after birth.

Overall we were just so in love with our son that we didn't pay any attention to what had happened or why. That is, until now during our 2nd pregnancy.

I'll write about why we now want to VBAC(Vaginal Birth After Caesarean), why we have changed to a hospital 1 hour away and what new information and resources we have now that we didn't before in my next post!

Cheers for now!
Mommy Cha

Christmas 2010

I DID IT!! I designed my cards, put in addresses and sent them on their way! Shutterfly made it super easy to do and saved everything for future reference. Now i can easily pop gifts and cards in the mail for special occasions with lovely photos of the Kimchi Kid and Kimchi Kid #2 when he arrives!
Yay for technology! Thank you Shutterfly!

Family Snowfall Midnight Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Let's Play Catch-Up! Part 1

Who's that kid?? The Kimchi Kid, that's who! He's back and better than ever!

Hello everyone, so sorry for the delay in blogging! The Kimchi Kid and I have been very busy, and the Kimchi Kid #2 gave me the worst morning, noon and night sickness!

Showing off my burgeoning baby bump!

BABY CATCH-UP!
To start, I had to take time off work in September due to my morning sickness. I was unable to keep any food down every time I ate. A good day meant that 1 meal or snack didn't come back up, and those days were few and far between. I was also having trouble sleeping, so I had no energy for even the basic aspects of life like caring for my son let alone trying to teach rambunctious Korean kindergarten students. Luckily my work was very understanding and allowed me to take time off to rest.

Through the first trimester I was frequently reassured that I MUST be having a girl since my first pregnancy was nothing like this and so many friends who had girls had suffered morning sickness like this. Since a girl was what we wanted, this made us excited to find out the gender! Surely this would be the much desired daughter! My MIL and I both had dreams of me giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. Koreans have a lot of superstitions regarding pregnancy and this was considered a very strong sign that we were having a girl.

The only problem was the Kimchi Kid. Thomas was frequently asked about his sibling, and he always replied "형", which means "older brother" in Korean. We laughed and thought this meant that he wanted an older brother instead of a younger sibling. However when our doumi returned to us after her 6month long to China, she informed us that often Koreans believe the older sibling can identify the gender of the new sibling best. So she asked Thomas the morning of our scan, what was the gender of his new sibling. Thomas replied "남자" which means "male". We laughed and told the doumi he keeps asking for "형" and we were all sure it was a girl.

When we arrived at the doctor's we asked him to check the gender for us. Usually this is not done in Korea, but as I am a foreigner here, I was able to get the doctor to do so. At first he thought he wouldn't be able to find out, but he was able to get the angle right and showed us what we were waiting for.

The "bits"! It is a BOY! Surprise!

Can you tell what that blurry picture is? It was much clearer in the office and the original print of the scan. That is Kimchi Kid #2's penis. That's right, we were all wrong and only Thomas was right! We're having another boy!

After the doctor told us and showed us the news, he proceeded to check on the rest of the baby. I was shocked and asked him if he was sure it wasn't the umbilical cord. He laughed at me, moved the scan back and showed us again what was very obviously a boy. My first reaction was to cry, which caused a lot of laughter in the doctor's office. Eventually we realized this would be for the best, for Thomas and for us. We'll save so much money on clothing and toys, and the Kimchi Kid will have an awesome playmate which is why we always wanted to have a second child.

When we came home and told doumi, she also cried. She had just finished hand washing a delicate pink sweater I had worn as an infant. She was so proud of managing to remove the ugly stain on it and was so excited to see our beautiful baby girl, she simply couldn't believe she was wrong! Even now she is convinced our next check up will show the doctor to be wrong and that we are having the girl everyone longs for! ^.^

The Kimchi Kid waiting for our flight to the USA.

TRAVEL CATCH-UP!
I had introduced a friend of ours to my BIL almost 2 years ago. They had an MSN relationship that culminated in meeting in person at the Kimchi Kid's 1st Birthday party in May 2009. As my BIL lives in Texas their relationship was mostly long distance, daily Skype calls, e-mails and a few visits over the past 2 years. This Summer my BIL decided enough was enough and asked our friend to marry him. We were so excited and threw a good-bye/bridal shower for her! A whirlwind of paperwork ensued and she was on her way to a new life in Austin, Texas in August of this year.

Bridal shower cupcakes made by Gerry of Butter Sugar Cream! Delicious and gorgeous! Bridal bouquets, linked wedding rings and the couple's initials in white chocolate!

We were very excited for them and the wedding was planned for 10/10/10 (October 10, 2010) in Las Vegas. We informed the family that we'd be unable to attend, but they had other plans. As a result we had a whirlwind of planning of our own to do! Thomas and I had to leave Daddy behind due to his work, but we flew to Austin, Texas for 11 days. We then flew with the family to Las Vegas, Nevada for 2 days. I had booked tickets from Las Vegas to Victoria, BC, Canada to see my family as well. We stayed in Victoria for 6 days and then headed to Nanaimo, BC for 4 days before returning back to Korea.

One of the few outings in Austin, Texas. Zilker Park playground. He wore his Texas Longhorns jersey because it was a game day!

I was extremely sick for the majority of the time in Austin, Texas. My morning sickness was either aggravated by the jet-lag or some greasy Mexican food that caused me to have food-poisioning. I ended up in bed for almost 3 days, so sick and weak that I was almost ready to go to the hospital despite the cost. Poor Thomas was so upset by my illness that he became extremely clingy and terrified of his grandparents. It made for a hard visit to say the least.
Every time his grandmother tried to take him he began screaming, crying and shouting "할머니 무서워!" which means "Grandmother is scary!" The trip to Texas ended up being an exhausting round of hysterical toddler, draining shopping trips and hours spent on the couch watching TV.

To make matters worse, the wedding was canceled 5 days before we were due to fly to Las Vegas! My friend had been having a hard time adjusting to life in Texas and was very depressed. Her mother had also begun to pressure her to return to South Korea since she felt that my BIL was not a good person. This was due to the fact that he had not flown to South Korea to visit his future in-laws. Despite being offered airfare to come to Texas to meet the family, which they refused, my friend's parents were adamant that she not marry my BIL! This put her under a lot of stress and eventually she made the decision to honour her parents wishes. Since so many of our family had booked tickets and hotel rooms, the decision was made to turn the trip into a mini-family reunion!

Thomas checking out the scuba maintenance guys in front of the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas.

Not having been to Las Vegas with a child before and knowing that we were staying at the Bellagio hotel, I thought it would be a nice trip. The day before we flew my morning sickness seemed to pass and I was excited to go. Thomas was excited to go on another "비행기", "airplane", and I thought we could spend time in the pool.

I was not anticipating the constant battles to drag him away from the slot machines with all their flashing lights and sounds. To get to any restaurant, exit the hotel or get to our room, you HAD to walk through the casino. I was also shocked to realize that all casinos are smoking areas, so we had to walk through clouds of cigarette stench at all hours. My BIL was great at chasing the Kimchi Kid down and carrying him when I was unable to. We had brought a stroller that worked at confining him but he would often cry "내려줘!" which meant "Let me down!".

Las Vegas was most definitely not child or stroller friendly. To get anywhere you have to walk over moving sidewalks or pedestrian overpasses. Escalators are everywhere and elevators were often out of service. The moving sidewalks often had signs posted on them saying "NO STROLLERS". Each Casino on the strip was huge, meaning to get from one to another required lots of walking in the hot sun. The sun was magnified by the shiny glass buildings and lack of shade on the sidewalks. All of this combines to drive people indoors to the dark and cool casinos where they will most likely gamble away, but if you have a child, it makes for a miserable time!

Thomas being cute inside the Shark Reef at the Mandaly Bay Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.

It took us close to 2 hours to get to the Mandalay Bay Shark Reef on our last day. This was due to the convoluted route required to walk there and the fact that you have to walk almost 30min INSIDE the casino just to get to the aquarium! Despite the glowing advertisements and expectations, it was much smaller than the COEX aquarium here in Korea and we were all exhausted by the end. This was meant to be the highlight of our 2 days with Thomas in Vegas, so it was very disappointing.

In the end, I was very happy to leave Las Vegas and head to Canada to see my family!

More on that later, I need a break! ^.~ Catch-up part 2, The AWESOME trip to Canada coming soon!