VBAC Update!

Come out anytime Baby Graham!

Well Baby Graham didn't arrive in March despite the best guesses of everyone involved. This meant we had to go for a 39week check up with the midwife.

That was when we received bad news. Baby Graham's head is getting bigger and the midwife is now concerned that with such a large head there will be too much strain on my scar if we go past 40weeks. Previously she had said she would allow me to go until 41 weeks at her clinic, but now we're only allowed to 40weeks and 1day. If Graham doesn't come naturally on his own by then, we're going to have to change to a hospital.

Unfortunately, the odds of a hospital here in Korea allowing me to attempt to VBAC after 40weeks, especially with a baby who is measuring large, are slim to none. As one doula told me, I'd have to "show up pushing" and basically that is something my husband and I are not comfortable with. I can only go so far without his support as well, so I'm looking into options.

The other midwife we've spoken to on the phone regarding this has said she wouldn't take me unless I went to Mediflower and had Dr. Chung back her up. Due to the distance and the cost of the clinic(TRIPLE what we'd pay here) we had ruled it out as an option already. We had hoped she would be willing to handle us if we came to her clinic but she won't consider it.

There is another large women's hospital down the street from us. According to Korean mom's cafes it offers VBAC but again, the rules are strict. Since I've not had any examinations or care there, it may not be an option. We're going to check into it nonetheless as a possible back-up plan.

For now though we are working on all available natural options to get Graham moving out on his own.
In addition, we've focused all our energy on Monday, April 4th 2011 as the birthdate. 4/4/11 sounds good to me!
So please send us positive energy and vibes for a smooth, natural VBAC on Monday!

Thanks so much!
XOX Mommy Cha and Baby Graham

The WHY of my VBAC.

My first big baby, the Kimchi Kid, cuddling up to my big baby belly.

I realize it has been 2 months since my last post, for that I apologize.

Things have been busy for us with our business, work and life in general. I've been focusing on preparing myself for the birth as well as preparing our cluttered home for the arrival of baby Graham Seong Ho. (Graham is the middle name of my father and paternal grandfather, Seong is the same first Korean character as the Kimchi Kid's name.)

Through out this process I really have come to several realizations as to WHY I want to VBAC despite the difficulty of doing so in South Korea.

My first reason was for my family. I want to be able to be there for BOTH my sons from day one, not trapped in a hospital bed, unable to see or care for them until a week or more later. I worry so about how the Kimchi Kid will adjust to the new arrival and I want to be sure that he knows I still love and care for him. I've never been away from him for very long, never longer than a day since he was young, and I think it would be hard on us both.
I know as well that breastfeeding the Kimchi Kid was a painful and difficult process that lasted 2-3 weeks, most likely due to bad latch and our separation for the first 5 days of his life. I don't want to repeat that with baby Graham. I want to be able to breastfeed without the blood, pain and tears that I suffered through the first time and I believe a VBAC will enable me to do so as I can be with my newborn from the start.

My second reason was for my own personal health. A C-section is major surgery with the possibility of major complications. I was lucky that I healed quickly and easily the first time but there would be no guarantees the second time. That being said, it still took me over a month to be able to walk without major pain, and over a year before the sensation returned to my abdominal area. It was very strange to scratch my stomach and feel nothing for so long. Having a VBAC will allow me to heal even faster and return to my family in terms of walking, standing and caring for a newborn. It will also allow me to have the chance to bond earlier and easier with Graham.
I have educated myself thoroughly regarding the risks of a VBAC but I really feel that they are slim compared to a secondary C-section. The most common concern is Uterine Rupture with a VBAC. The incidence of uterine rupture with VBAC in a mother who has had a low transverse incision is approximately 0.2–1.5%. This was the incision style I had.
The reasons behind my first C-section were poor. I was only truly in labor perhaps 12 hours. This is very short for a first time birth. I wasn't given any drugs to ripen my cervix or speed up my labor. I was simply in pain and denied pain relief with a C-section the only option being provided to me. Despite my best efforts at preparing, I was sorely unprepared and stressed at the idea of transferring to a different hospital at that moment. While we made the decision to continue to try for the natural birth, not having a doula, any labor support or suggestions on how to reposition and avoid back labor meant our resolve quickly ran out. I was in pain without relief and my husband couldn't handle seeing me that way. We had a C-section, much to the satisfaction of our doctor who 100% believed we would have one from the start.( A warning sign we completely missed!)

My third reason for a VBAC is that I am an excellent VBAC candidate. I had a low, transverse incision. I did experience labor and had no complications of my health nor my son's. I healed quickly and easily. It has been more than 18mths since I had my surgery. My blood pressure and hemoglobin levels are all ideal. My weight gain has been right on target. I've exercised and done my best to maintain the proper nutrition during this pregnancy. I feel great and it shows!

I've built a solid team of supporters, my doula from Morning Calm Doulas, Karen. My closest Korean friend Jo, who had a natural birth with a midwife here 3 years ago. My husband who learned from the first birth and has been more proactive this time around. My midwife, Midwife Seo, who informed me that her only purpose will be to watch and catch, the birth is up to me and my baby. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded with so many people who are willing to work with me and baby Graham to have the birth we want.

Next time I post, I hope to be posting about our successful VBAC!

Remembrance Day

Today is November 11 in South Korea. This is a very special day in Korea. It is a holiday known as "Pepero Day". What is pepero you're wondering? Simple. Chocolate coated pretzel sticks. That's right, while we try to remember and honour those who have sacrificed themselves for our freedom, people here bliss out on chocolate coated pretzels.

11/11 apparently looks like these chocolate pretzel sticks so a savvy marketing executive decided it would be the PERFECT day to push this sugary snack. This day has gotten bigger and bigger each year! It is bigger than Halloween and almost as big as Christmas here! Nevermind that it happens to be on a very solemn and sacred day to a large part of the "Western" population they envy so much. Nevermind that most native "English" speakers could easily tell any Korean how today is NOT about a chocolate pretzel but more about something that should be VERY near and dear to Korean's hearts. After alll, technically North and South Korea are STILL at war. They have simply had an armistice agreement for the past 50-60 or so years. They owe so much to those who have fallen to defend the lifestyle they have now. I suppose it is somewhat ironic that the freedom many of our countrymen fought for here during the Korean war allows them to have this ridiculously commercial chocolate pretzel fest.

No matter what, I try to remember what this day is about. I take my moment of silence. I remember, and I cry a little. I am living this life because of the sacrifice of others, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I hope and pray we remember this, so that Thomas does not have to grow up in a world torn by war.
Lest We Forget.

Thank you to Joanne.

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

My nephew Hasani

Hasani enjoying his grilled fish dinner in Bali, Indonesia.
My nephew Hasani was born prematurely 3 1/2 years ago.
But he is a strong boy and grew up without any problems developmentally. He recently came to Korea in January/February of this year and stayed with us for a month with his Mother, my younger sister.
We went to Bali, Indonesia and Chejudo, South Korea and generally had a fantastic time!

Then this past week I received this e-mail from my sister Jenni:

Hi family,
Hasani has been limping for a week, and tripping, falling, complaining of knee pain (once or twice...) And it worsens after physical activity. He cannot walk to the beach from our house anymore, which is a block away... He hasn't been his usual 'go bigger, run faster, jump higher' self...
I took Hasani to the doctor yesterday. They ordered an X-ray for today. Right after I got a call requesting me to go back to the doctor immediately. Hasani has a dark spot on his femur of his right leg, could be a tumour, could be an infection, could be nothing. I was upset and a bit scared to say the least. Dr Ted Burchowski ordered a CT scan, and a Paediatric Orthopedic Surgeon will be meeting with him in the next two weeks. I believe his name is Dr Norgrove Penny.

Anyways. Please pray for us. For his knee.

I was terrified for Hasani and immediately called my sister. She said that they were waiting for an appointment and that they would keep me updated.

A few hours later I received this e-mail:

Hasani has an appointment with the Paediatric Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr Norgrove Penny, tomorrow at 10:30.

His secretary just called and said he can tell a lot from an X-ray, and so we will go over it then.

I will keep you informed. Thanks for your kind words, and prayers.

Love to you all!

In Canada you do not pay for your Healthcare directly, you do it through your taxes, and as a result there can often be long waits for appointments and tests. I was glad Hasani got an appointment so quickly, but worried that in order to do so, the doctor must have seen something important in his x-ray.
I asked my mother to message me as soon as the appointment was done, regardless of the time here. I received a call just before 4am and Tom was immediately up and by my side. The doctor had ordered more tests, that were going to require at least 2 weeks to be done, and they would keep me informed.
I had read up online and knew that the regime of tests ordered where being used to try and diagnose one thing - Cancer. The next morning I called Jenni as soon as I woke and talked in more detail. It was true, at 3 1/2 years old, my adorable nephew Hasani was being tested for bone cancer in his leg.
I was devastated. When I hung up the phone I fell into my husband's arms and began sobbing. Poor Thomas was so upset at my sobbing he had no idea what to do and tried to climb into my arms. Later in that day I received this e-mail from Jenni:

Hi Family,

we met with the doctor. My mom met me there, and we looked at the X-ray. He has a 1cm lesion/tumor on the femur bone by the knee. We will still rule out infection. Now we do a bone scan, CT scan, and an MRI. Then we will do a biopsy, which entails making a small incision in his knee and scraping some bone out. This should all be happening in the next 2 weeks or so. Dr Penny said that if he were to bet, it looks like cancer. The scans will show us if it's spread elsewhere in the body, into the surrounding tissue, etc. If it were benign 9which we hope it is) he said it would have a solid border. It doesn't, it blurs into the surrounding bone.

He is a good doctor. I have confidence on my side, and a really good friend who has just gone through a year of cancer with her 5 year old Zoey. She is an ally and a wealth of information. Who knows? It may be an infection!

Love to you all, send your positive vibes out our way, and prayers, too.

I still am holding out hope that this will just be a cancer scare and nothing more. I prayed like I haven't done for years. I cried as I prayed and held Thomas in my arms as I begged my Heavenly Father who I hadn't spoken to in so long to look after Hasani.

Now is a waiting game, waiting for tests, waiting for results, and waiting for a diagnosis. I think about Hasani and my sister Jenni everyday and pray for them. I ask each and everyone of you who reads what I write to hold them in your thoughts and prayers if you pray, and think positive thoughts for them. He is only 3 1/2. He needs all the love and support he can get, as does my sister!