Why I am Going to VBAC- Part 2: Bait and Switch

Our Happy Family!

* VERY LONG READ!

As part of our preparation for the Kimchi Kid, we decided to study Hypnobirthing. We both were a bit skeptical at first but we quickly grew to love the class and the concept. My husband was so impressed he told every expectant father he met that they HAD to try it! In terms of reducing our fears about birth and teaching us about the birthing process, we were really impressed. We knew very little, we expected birth to be scary and painful. But thanks to Hypnobirthing not only were we excited and positive about the birthing process but we decided to try for a completely natural birth, something we had never previously considered.

As part of our preparation we took our doctor our natural birthing plan, in English and Korean. This spelled out very clearly our hopes and preferences for our birth experience. These included:

· No IV.

· A private labour and delivery room.

· The ability to move around as I saw fit.

· No shaving.

· No episiotomy.

· Light food and drinks.

· The cord to stop pulsing before cutting.

· Immediate breastfeeding.

Our doctor spoke English well and asked for some time to review the birthing plan. At our next appointment he agreed to everything we asked, except for the food part. Drinks were ok, food was not. We were so happy we had found such a forward thinking doctor and only 5 minutes from our home! We had heard so many horror stories of birthing in Korea that we had expected the worst. Little did we know that we were actually being set up for a “bait and switch” birth experience.

When we were almost full term, our doctor informed us that the Kimchi Kid was measuring over 4kg. In South Korea this is considered an automatic C-section. We laughed off his concerns and to appease him agreed to meet with the surgeon, just in case. She was a lovely lady and we assured her that with my wide hips and family birth history we would be fine. She smiled and explained the C-section process, just in case.

When I went into labour, we were very calm and relaxed. I listened to my iPod and labored on the toilet, the most comfortable place in my home. When the surges (contractions) became 3 minutes apart, around 6 hours after starting timing, we called the hospital. They told us to come in and we excitedly headed to the hospital, confident that we would have our gorgeous son with us soon!

Upon arrival I was put on a bed in a communal labour room. The OR was in my line of vision with a very unhappy sounding woman in it. The bed next to me had another unhappy sounding woman in it and I had to lie on my back and wait for them to check us. I questioned my husband as to why we weren’t being shown to our private room and he asked the nurse. They had no idea, but with some hurried discussion finally agreed and sent us to a room. The nurse came in to check my dilation, I was 3cm gone and she said it would probably take about 7 hours more. We were excited and confident that those 7 hours would fly by!

Shortly after a different nurse arrived and told my husband that I was to be put on an IV. We said no, that was not in our plan, ask the doctor. She was shocked and left quickly. Another nurse came, this time to shave me. Again, we declined, a little annoyed this time and she also was shocked. I moved to the toilet in our room for more comfort and our doctor finally came. We said we were surprised that no one knew of our plan, but he brushed it off. He told me I could sit on the toilet but not birth their (of course) and sad I was doing well, “better than he expected”. At the time we just laughed at their lack of faith and preparedness.

Things were going so well that we had an extra bed rolled in so my husband could sleep. He took a nap, I relaxed and the surges got closer and closer. I was now feeling the every 1 minute or so, with minimal rest between, but doing well. At this point a nurse came in and asked me to lay on the bed for an exam. I climbed up and lay on my back. The nurse then strapped on a fetal monitor and waited. For me, it felt like an eternity! Finally I demanded to know what she was waiting for and she replied she was waiting for contractions. I shouted that I was HAVING them, constantly, hurry up and check me! She finally examined me for dilation and to our disappointment we found that we had only progressed to 4cm after 6 hours.

During the time I was laying on my back, the surges became more painful and centered in my lower back; I was eager to get off the bed and back to my toilet but quickly discovered that something had changed. I struggled to get back to my relaxed state, listening to my iPod and sitting on the toilet. Very quickly I realized the pain was becoming unbearable and I woke my husband and demanded that we get an epidural. This is where things went wrong…

My husband called the nurse who came and told him I could NOT have an epidural. We were shocked, this had never occurred to us, so he demanded she call the doctor. We had to wait for the doctor to come and when he arrived he informed us that I could NOT have an epidural due to my WEIGHT. I was over 90kg at this point in pregnancy and he said that they did not have a large enough needle for me! I was beginning to get very stressed, I had no break between surges and the pain was awful. I asked what our options were. The doctor told us I could have a C-section or I could move to the larger University hospital which was older, had a bad reputation and I did not like from previous visits. I told him that neither were options for us and I would continue.

I struggled back to my toilet, in tears now, going out of my mind with the pain. I breathed, I did my Hypnobirthing exercises, and I listened to the iPod. Finally I staggered out and shouted at my husband, “CUT ME OPEN AND TAKE MY BABY OUT!” My poor husband was as unprepared as I was and quickly called the doctor. The speed with which they took over was remarkable.

I was immediately put back on the bed, an IV was inserted, fetal monitor attached, a nurse shaved me and we were whisked into the operating room. The room was brightly lit, fully staffed and it seemed to me to be very short notice for a 4am procedure at a small private hospital. They moved me to the operating table, told me they would attempt a spinal twice and if it did not work I would be given a general anesthetic. They rolled me to my side, inserted the needle on the first try and bliss flooded my body. I cried my thanks to the doctor and they laughed. I said I could continue now, but they had already cut me open. THE KIMCHI KID WAS BORN!

I was in a haze after this. I remember wondering where my baby and husband were. I remember shaking, uncontrollably, my teeth chattering in recovery so badly I couldn’t speak. I remember piles of warm blankets heaped upon me. I think I remember seeing my baby, but since it was also the first photo I have of him, it may be a false memory. The next thing I remembered was being moved to a bed and told not to sit up or move for 18 hours lest I suffer excruciating head pain. Then I slept.

When I woke again, it was day. I was alone and my husband had gone to work! Not having been in a Korean hospital we had no idea that this was going to be a problem. Around noon a student‘s family arrived. They had been close to us for a year and the mother was a nurse. She tried to get Thomas from the nursery for me but my husband had accidentally taken the “ticket” that allows you to “check” your baby out of the nursery. After a few hours they left and my husband arrived with the ticket. Finally I was able to see and hold my baby. Thomas slept the whole visit and was returned to the nursery. My husband left to teach and I was alone again.

Around 6pm another woman was rolled into my room. She had also had a C-section. She was as out of it as I had been and slept several hours. I then noticed that her mother had to do certain hygienic things for her that I had expected a nurse to do. I was shocked and dismayed to realize I had been there 12 hours longer and NOTHING had been done for me. I was so embarrassed to inform my husband of this when he returned and ask him to do them for me. He was equally shocked but we did what we had to do.

The rest of our stay continued in the same vein. Thomas was in the nursery all night. He came for a few visits during the day and I nursed him. He slept most of the time and I rested. My husband had to help me do EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING! We begged to be released and were told 7 days was the minimum stay. Finally we were allowed to leave on the 5^th day as I had healed so well. At this point I hadn’t been with my son for more than 4 hours at a time. The nurses were useless for the whole stay, even refusing to fetch me more diapers when I ran out despite the fact that I could barely walk, I had my baby in the room with me, I was alone and the nursery was on a different floor from where we were! I was so relieved to get home to the comfort of my own bed and the support of the amazing helper/nanny who is still with us to this day!

We ended up with a happy and healthy baby, who through the joys of co-sleeping, baby wearing and breastfeeding was never fussy and the apple of our eyes. Teething was a breeze, solids feeding, walking at 9mths, toilet training, etc. All milestones he has reached easily and happily. So we never really thought about our birth experience. That is, until we became pregnant again.

After the Kimchi Kid was born I became a member of an Expat Parents group here in Seoul. I finally met many other mothers in similar situations here and I made some wonderful friends. One of the mothers I met was Mama Seoul, who was a very strong advocate for VBAC, something we had never thought of. Through discussions with her, links on her website and so on, I slowly became re-educated about birth. What I learned surprised me and raised some concerns about returning to our hospital.

My husband however was unconvinced. He saw me heal well, saw our son grow and thrive, and remembered the difficulty of my stay in the hospital. He was convinced the easiest thing to do was simply schedule a repeat C-section. The fact that he was also teaching the child of my C-section doctor reinforced this decision in his mind after I became pregnant. She informed him that we could easily have 3, even 4 C-sections with no major problems, she did it all the time!

We agreed to a compromise. If we had a girl, I would have a C-section. Another boy, then we would try to VBAC. This worked well until we discovered we WERE having a boy!

My doctor had slowly stopped speaking English to me and had started speaking only Korean, and only to my husband, despite ME asking him direct questions in English. This annoyed us both but we let it slide. Then my blood test came back with high protein levels. We had a 2^nd test done and it also had high protein levels. I was concerned, but the doctor CALLED my husband and TOLD him over the phone that I had to have an amniocentesis and that Koreans would consider termination in this case. The look on my husband’s face was one I will NEVER forget, and I am crying just typing this and remembering it now.

I was devastated, HE was devastated and I called my closest friends, my doula friend, and then googled the HELL out of AFP and amniocentesis! We made an urgent appointment for the next morning at a different hospital as I REFUSED to go back to a doctor who treated us with so little respect that he didn’t offer an alternative and dropped the word TERMINATION so casually over the phone.

We spent 3 hours at the new clinic, Medi-Flower, which is 1.5hours away. Dr. Chung was so patient and caring, he listened to us, and gave us our options, the first of which was an intensive ultrasound with a doctor of radiology to check for any possible defects. This took 1 hour itself and we were given the all clear with 99.9% assurance that our baby, Baby Graham, was fine. We then toured the facility and I showed my husband the birthing tub and room I had decided to birth in. We never went back to our old hospital and I am so happy with our decision!

The 3^rd and FINAL part of my story will be HOW I am preparing for a VBAC, what obstacles we have encountered and the final WHY! Thanks for reading so far!

Love,

Mommy Cha

Mommy Cha and the Kimchi Kid LOVE Moby Wrap!

When we first found out I was pregnant we immediately began to research what we needed to prepare for our new baby. Since we live in South Korea we knew we would be limited in some of our choices.
During the many hours of reading reviews, surfing websites and asking opinions as to what we would need, we decided the must-have baby carrier for us was the Moby Wrap! The wrapping technique seemed to really confuse people, but we found it very simple and easy to do.

A lot of people did not know what a Moby Wrap was when we told them, so I often had to compare it to a sling for people to understand. The reality is that the Moby Wrap is so much more!

via Moby Wrap .com

Be comfortable
The design of the Moby® Wrap uses your entire back, as well as your shoulders, to carry the weight of your baby. Unlike other carriers, which have narrow straps or go across one shoulder, the Moby® Wrap is a wide piece of fabric that is wrapped over both shoulders. It is amazingly comfortable and easy to wear. There are no buckles, snaps or other fasteners. It is easy to adjust the fit of your Moby® Wrap by varying how tightly you wrap yourself and your baby.

Be secure
The Moby® Wrap comes with an easy to follow instructional guide and this web site with the latest news, tips and techniques. With the single stretch cotton and the width of the Moby® Wrap, your baby is wrapped close and tight, ensuring a secure hold. Your baby’s head can also be secured under the stretchy cotton fabric for added safety. You can finally have both hands free and know your baby is safe and secure.

Be uniquely close to your baby
There is not a lot of extra material or bulky padding between you and your baby. Your baby can hear your heartbeat and finds comfort in the warmth of your body,and sound of your heartbeat within the cuddly confines of the Moby® Wrap.

Preemie to 35 lbs.
The Moby® Wrap is an optimal baby carrier for premature infants. Preemies are often prescribed to practice "kangaroo care" and this skin-to-skin practice used to increase birth weight can be easily achieved while wearing the Moby® Wrap. The Moby® Wrap is long enough to adapt to your growing baby. The fabric can hold up to 45 lbs, and most people feel comfortable carrying up to 35 lbs.

Soothes fussy babies
It is amazing how quickly a baby will settle down once wrapped in the Moby® Wrap. Experts like Dr. Sears, stress the importance of holding your baby often and close. The Moby® Wrap allows you to do this with ease. The style of the wrap insures your baby is uniquely close, while providing ultimate comfort and support. No more aching backs or tired arms! Now your baby can be kept close and happy for as long as he or she desires.

Versatile
There are many ways to wear your Moby® Wrap. You can wear your baby facing you, facing the world, sideways or on your back. When not being used as a carrier, the Moby® can be used as blanket, pillow or anything else that comes to mind.

Machine washable
The Moby® Wrap is easy to clean. You can machine wash your Moby® in cold water and tumble dry low. Slight shrinkage after washing may occur. Once you start wearing your Moby® again, it will stretch out.

Thomas was a heavy baby yet I never understood why so many mothers complained of back or shoulder pain. So often moms would talk of how heavy their child was and how they couldn't carry them for long. With the Moby Wrap I was able to happily wear Thomas for hours on end.

Daddy takes a nap with Thomas sleeping in hug hold.

From the beginning he disliked the cradle hold, preferring to be upright in the hug hold. Thomas has always been eager to sit, crawl and walk earlier than most babies! So being upright in the hug hold made him so content, he would sleep for hours! I remember the first days, he was fussy and loved to be worn in the Moby Wrap. I would walk around the apartment building and he would fall asleep in minutes!

Visiting an amusement park using hug hold.


Sleeping peacefully in hug hold while Mommy enjoys the Summer evening at a cafe!

Breastfeeding in the Moby was just as easy for us. Once I walked around Costco with him happily feeding and no one had a clue!
Everywhere I went I wore the Moby. If I was breastfeeding I used it as a cover, if he was in the stroller it became a blanket. If we visited friends or went to the park, it was there for us to sit or lay on. We even used it as a towel after playing in the water fountains last Summer!

Moby Wrap towel after playing in the water park.


Moby Wrap leg cover in the stroller.


Moby Wrap Stroller liner and blanket!


Moby Wrap picnic blanket in the park!

When it came time to fly, Moby Wrap was with us! The 11 hour flight to Vancouver, Canada when he was 4 months old was a snap thanks to Moby! He slept peacefully and fed easily when he was in the wrap. Even the stressful journey to Texas, USA was made easier thanks to Moby! Several people commented on how happy and QUIET my son was during the flight.

Loving it in hug hold with Auntie Heather at Piper's Lagoon, Nanaimo, BC, Canada.


Happy in hug hold with Halmoni at Salt Lick BBQ in Austin, Texas, USA.

We flew to Bali, Indonesia when Thomas was 9 months old. Once again Moby Wrap made for a peaceful and easy flight! Touring Bali's many beaches and temples full of stairs would be next to impossible with a stroller. Moby Wrap made it a smooth experience and we didn't miss a thing! Thomas loved to be in joey hold, facing the world and watching everything around him. But if the sightseeing got to be too much for him, he could easily turn into hug hold and have a nap while Mommy and Daddy kept exploring!


Sightseeing in Bali, Indonesia in joey hold.


With Mommy and Daddy at a traditional restaurant in Bali, Indonesia, sleeping in hug hold.

Over the first year of using the Moby Wrap we introduced it to many friends and family members. Everyone fell in love with the comfort and security the Moby Wrap provided both parents and child.

Heidi and Thomas in hug hold.


Aaron and Thomas in joey hold.

As we continued to use the Moby we decided to bring Moby Wrap to Korea.
We were so excited to share the Moby Wrap with Korean families who already had a long standing tradition of wearing babies on their backs. It was no where near as comfortable as wearing a Moby Wrap so we knew that once Koreans found how great Moby Wrap was to use it would be a hit!
Moby Wrap is growing in popularity by the day here in South Korea and we still use it even now with Thomas who weighs 13kg/28lbs and is now 21 months old. We plan to use Moby Wrap with the next child we have and have recommended it to everyone we know!
We have never tried any other baby carrier on the market as there was simply no need! Moby Wrap was comfortable to wear, fit all sizes of our family members, was versatile in the different positions Thomas could be in as he grew, was portable, easy to clean and came in enough colors and patterns to keep us happy for years! Even when we would go out for a walk with a stroller, the Moby Wrap came with us just in case.
Thomas has grown up in the Moby Wrap and it means comfort and care to him. When he is sick, he will pull out the Moby Wrap and ask to be carried in it. Recently he even began asking for it by name, although he says "Noby", that is pretty close for a 20 month old! I've now begun carrying Thomas in hike hold on my back, the style Koreans like the most. I can carry him for over an hour with him on my back, despite his 13kg/28lb weight!
It really was the best thing we bought for our baby and it still is even now as a toddler!
What more can I say, WE LOVE MOBY WRAP!!

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter, anywhere and anytime in the World, MOBY WRAP is where your baby wants to be!!


Chejudo Dinosaur park with Daddy, joey hold.


Chejudo Glass Castle with Mommy, sleeping in hug hold.



Walking in the park watching the Fall leaves with Mommy, hug hold.


In Paju Artists' Village with Daddy, joey hold.


At the Paju Book Fair with Mommy, hug hold.


Having ice-cream at Baskin Robbins with Daddy, joey hold.


At Incheon Movie Theme Park with Daddy, lotus hold.


Enjoying the Cherry blossoms with Daddy, joey hold.


Checking out all the animals with Daddy, joey hold.


Watching the fish swim in Vancouver International airport with Mommy, hug hold.


Being just adorable in the elevator with Daddy, hug hold.

A great success!!

Fauna, MamaSeoul, Eva, me and Fauna's Mom!


A happy baby trying out the Moby!


The Ko family!

It was a hard 4 days, but it was well worth it! We had a huge interest in Moby, lots of people trying it on and checking out our demonstrations. We had steady sales and some unexpected interest from some big companies as well! We're negotiating some contracts as a result which is really exciting. A hard as it was to be away from Thomas and standing for 8 hours everyday, it was what we needed to get Moby introduced to the Korean public!
The most exciting part was having several mothers come in wearing carriers, change into Moby's, and be so surprised and relieved at the comfort difference and immediately purchase a new Moby! They then practiced wrapping, put their baby in and headed out with their old carriers stuffed in a bag! The only strange thing was that a lot of Korean mothers thought we were selling too cheaply! Imported items here are usually quite expensive, so they were surprised that we were selling at such reasonable prices! So as of September 1st, we are raising prices by 15%! So if you want one, get it now to get the best price! Hehe...www.mobywrap.co.kr
I just really want to thank all the moms from the expat community who came out and supported us! Karen, Fauna, Angela, Leanne, Rachel, Bethany, Devika, and any others, I am sorry if I forgot you! We are soo thankful for your support!!

COEX BABYFAIR!

MamaSeoul and Eva were great models! Eva slept quite happily in the Moby. This is the Hug Hold.


This is the Joey Hold. It is a variant of the Lotus Hold, where instead of tucking the legs in the fabric, you leave them hanging out.


This is our booth. It looks crowded but we re-organized it and it is more spacious now!
I'll post more pictures of our visitors and Moby wearers as soon as I can!
We are on the 3rd floor, in the back corner, booth #3123, close to Sony.
Come on by and say hi!

We're still here!!

It has been a crazy hectic few weeks for us!! So sorry for not updating, and so sorry but I don't have the time to do so now!!
Basically, we are fine, healthy, and busy busy BUSY!!
I started working out with a personal trainer 6 days a week about 2.5 weeks ago, we're gearing up for the big BabyFair at CoEx August 20-23 and we've been working like mad while all the students are on Summer vacation doing intensive classes and extra classes!
Thomas has been busy too, vocabulary is expanding, his behavior has improved since we started trying to follow the Dr. Sears Discipline book, he has just been wonderful!
Right now I'm just stressed about the BabyFair and the big chance we have to get the MobyWrap name out there and make some $ales! After that is done I get to stress and worry about flying to Texas with Thomas all by myself! Yay!!
Hope to see a lot of people at the BabyFair!!!

The Kimchi Kid wants YOU to come and play!

That's right! I mean YOU!!


After feeling the need for solitude and not finding it, I ended up deciding to be social instead! Haha...inconsistent, I know!
I was invited out by my friends Kat and Viola who I hadn't seen for a few weeks. It was decided that we would meet for dinner at TGIFriday's by Bucheon Station. Thomas and I were excited to go and see our beloved Emo Kat and our darling Viola. Daddy decided to tag along at the last minute and we were off to have a nice evening out! At TGIFriday's we ordered for Thomas from the kid's menu for the first time, but we ended up eating most of it, not him! Coconut shrimp, grilled pineapple, BBQ ribs and french fries with a fruit smoothie. Yummy! He had a bite of the shrimp, pineapple and some fries. I think he ate 2 ribs by himself but he was more interested in his smoothie than anything else! Daddy and I shared their deep-fried Mac & Cheese bites. We all had a lovely chat and a decent meal but we girls were just getting started on the catching up! Daddy was sweet enough to offer to put Thomas to bed so I could go out with the ladies and have a drink or 2.
We ended up going to Rhythm and Booze, the local expat hangout. I had 2 tasty Malibu and Coke's with the girls. Uncle Mattie, Rachel, Kate, Abbie and her friend Esther all joined us for a few hours. We laughed a lot, particularly thanks to Uncle Mattie's warped sense of humour! I have only been out maybe 3-4 times since Thomas was born, so it was nice for me to relax and chat with my friends.
Friday was a super busy day, but we made a new schedule with our doumi ajumma and she took care of Thomas from 1-7pm for us. This meant we could go out to a movie! We watched Transformers 2, which was ok, but way to long!
Saturday we had a lazy day, just me and Thomas playing together while Daddy taught. We took a 3 hour nap and went our for a super delicious dinner! After dinner we watched a Korean movie, "The Good, the Bad and the Weird". It wasn't the greatest movie I've seen here, but not bad. Thomas had one of his "I refuse to sleep!" nights and fell asleep in my arms on the sofa.
Sunday we had our friend Devika come over at 10am for a Costco trip! We had no issues with traffic there or back and were able to shop in comfort. Thomas fell asleep on the trip back, but only slept maybe 20minutes total. When we laid him down at the house, he woke up 5 minutes later and that was it! He was up for the rest of the day! We had a great time playing and chatting with Devika, and then our friends Aaron and Helena came over with her sister and their new baby son, Elijah.
We all had a great time chatting, oohing and aahing over the baby and laughing over Thomas's reaction to the new little guy. He was very uncertain while I held the baby, but got up close and personal once Elijah was back with his own Mommy. Then he got really close and even tried to comfort Elijah who was crying from being woken up by all us nosey people! It was really sweet to see how Thomas reacted and how interested he was in this tiny new baby.
Overall we had a great few days, full of socialization and action. Thomas has been showing some shyness and anxiety over meeting people other than us, even if he has met them before. We worked hard to socialize him this weekend and it seems like it paid off.
Aaron liked it so much he took it home to try with Elijah!

He was very happy and content when Aaron had him in the Mobywrap for a demonstration.
Devika also seemed to be able to play and amuse him well. The best progress was with Viola though! She was able to hold him briefly without Thomas crying, fussing or trying to push away from her. Admittedly there was a helium balloon involved, but it was progress nonetheless!
Hope everyone else had a great weekend too! We plan to try and meet up with many more friends, old and new this Summer! (Craig, Abbie, Angela, Karen, Sarah, Alana and who ever else reads this, we mean YOU!)

Moby Wrap Korea!!

Thomas happily sleeping in the MobyWrap at 3months old.
We are the official distributors of Moby Wrap here in South Korea.
We started using Moby when Thomas was born and have never used any other carrier. We love it! Tom uses it, I use it and our doumi uses it. We've given some as gifts to Korean friends here and they love it as well!
We decided it would be a great business for us to start here with our Korean partners and we have finally gotten our website up and running! We even had our first order already! We were pretty excited but today we got great news!
We will be in the AUGUST COEX BABY FAIR!!!!
This is a HUGE baby fair at the biggest shopping mall/convention center in Seoul. Tens of thousands of mothers pass through this fair in the 4-5 days it runs. It usually has a 6month wait to get a booth in the fair, BUT someone backed out and the organizers decided our product was so new and so unusual that it was PERFECT for the empty space!! So we now need to get all our promotional materials up and running for the big fair in August. This is EXACTLY what we need to get Moby known and get moms interested. We are anticipating HUGE sales off this and it should be the jump start the company needs to be a success!
I've been so busy this week and I have loads more to post but this was the most exciting and important thing to date!
HURRAY FOR MOBYWRAP KOREA!!
http://www.mobywrap.co.kr