The WHY of my VBAC.

My first big baby, the Kimchi Kid, cuddling up to my big baby belly.

I realize it has been 2 months since my last post, for that I apologize.

Things have been busy for us with our business, work and life in general. I've been focusing on preparing myself for the birth as well as preparing our cluttered home for the arrival of baby Graham Seong Ho. (Graham is the middle name of my father and paternal grandfather, Seong is the same first Korean character as the Kimchi Kid's name.)

Through out this process I really have come to several realizations as to WHY I want to VBAC despite the difficulty of doing so in South Korea.

My first reason was for my family. I want to be able to be there for BOTH my sons from day one, not trapped in a hospital bed, unable to see or care for them until a week or more later. I worry so about how the Kimchi Kid will adjust to the new arrival and I want to be sure that he knows I still love and care for him. I've never been away from him for very long, never longer than a day since he was young, and I think it would be hard on us both.
I know as well that breastfeeding the Kimchi Kid was a painful and difficult process that lasted 2-3 weeks, most likely due to bad latch and our separation for the first 5 days of his life. I don't want to repeat that with baby Graham. I want to be able to breastfeed without the blood, pain and tears that I suffered through the first time and I believe a VBAC will enable me to do so as I can be with my newborn from the start.

My second reason was for my own personal health. A C-section is major surgery with the possibility of major complications. I was lucky that I healed quickly and easily the first time but there would be no guarantees the second time. That being said, it still took me over a month to be able to walk without major pain, and over a year before the sensation returned to my abdominal area. It was very strange to scratch my stomach and feel nothing for so long. Having a VBAC will allow me to heal even faster and return to my family in terms of walking, standing and caring for a newborn. It will also allow me to have the chance to bond earlier and easier with Graham.
I have educated myself thoroughly regarding the risks of a VBAC but I really feel that they are slim compared to a secondary C-section. The most common concern is Uterine Rupture with a VBAC. The incidence of uterine rupture with VBAC in a mother who has had a low transverse incision is approximately 0.2–1.5%. This was the incision style I had.
The reasons behind my first C-section were poor. I was only truly in labor perhaps 12 hours. This is very short for a first time birth. I wasn't given any drugs to ripen my cervix or speed up my labor. I was simply in pain and denied pain relief with a C-section the only option being provided to me. Despite my best efforts at preparing, I was sorely unprepared and stressed at the idea of transferring to a different hospital at that moment. While we made the decision to continue to try for the natural birth, not having a doula, any labor support or suggestions on how to reposition and avoid back labor meant our resolve quickly ran out. I was in pain without relief and my husband couldn't handle seeing me that way. We had a C-section, much to the satisfaction of our doctor who 100% believed we would have one from the start.( A warning sign we completely missed!)

My third reason for a VBAC is that I am an excellent VBAC candidate. I had a low, transverse incision. I did experience labor and had no complications of my health nor my son's. I healed quickly and easily. It has been more than 18mths since I had my surgery. My blood pressure and hemoglobin levels are all ideal. My weight gain has been right on target. I've exercised and done my best to maintain the proper nutrition during this pregnancy. I feel great and it shows!

I've built a solid team of supporters, my doula from Morning Calm Doulas, Karen. My closest Korean friend Jo, who had a natural birth with a midwife here 3 years ago. My husband who learned from the first birth and has been more proactive this time around. My midwife, Midwife Seo, who informed me that her only purpose will be to watch and catch, the birth is up to me and my baby. I feel truly blessed to be surrounded with so many people who are willing to work with me and baby Graham to have the birth we want.

Next time I post, I hope to be posting about our successful VBAC!

Why I am Going to VBAC- Part 3: Options and Resources

Hard to believe bringing these little feet into the world is such a drawn out and stressful process at times!

This is it, the 3^rd and final portion although things haven’t been finalized yet.

After I made the decision to switch doctors and VBAC my husband had a conversation with the mother of one of his students. This mother happens to be the doctor who performed my 1^st C-section. When he informed her of our decision, she decided to “educate” my husband as to the dangers of VBAC and the benefits of a repeat C-section. Basically, she scared the crap out of him and I had to do some major convincing. I arranged a meeting with Mama Seoul/Karen of Morning Calm Doulas. She will be my doula and has also been a very vocal and positive advocate for VBACs since I met her. I informed her privately that she was going to have to do her best to “sell” VBACs to my husband and she agreed to take the challenge.

Luckily the meeting went well and he relaxed enough to drop his opposition to VBAC although he was still not 100% on board with the hospital choice. This was something that would crop again later, but I didn’t realize it at the time.

Karen lent me an excellent book, “The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Better Birth’’ by Henci Goer. It was a fascinating and excellent resource that I devoured within hours! I found so much practical and clear information that I could easily share with my husband between the pages of the book. I also shared it with a pregnant friend who had a vaginal birth the first time but with a negative hospital experience. Things were looking up, I was feeling positive and empowered about my VBAC! But of course, things are never as easy as they seem.

After our latest appointment with Dr. Chung at Medi-Flower my husband had finally had enough. He decided he disliked the doctor and no longer wanted me going all the way to his clinic, a 1.5 hour drive from our home. We had an argument, I cried, he refused to concede and I was back to square one.

Thankfully my closest Korean friend was a big proponent for natural birth and was willing to support me any way she could. We spent an afternoon searching Korean websites for information regarding VBACs in Korea. We found 2 options in our immediate area plus a natural birthing center I had recommended to my pregnant non-VBAC friend. I called Lisa Fincaryck of Birthing in Korea who is another doula friend of mine who also speaks Korean very well and has worked in many different Korean hospitals. She informed me that for 99.9% of Korean VBAC births, you have to be the IDEAL candidate for a VBAC for them to even consider taking you on. Very often a “maybe” is actually a “NO” and a client of hers had even been turned away from her hospital of choice WHILE IN LABOUR because the doctor simply changed his mind. Her best advice was to consider contacting a Korean midwife who had experience with VBAC, Rosa/Kim Ok Jin of Okbirth. She agreed to contact her for me first as they are quite close and would contact me later. This was very exciting to my Korean friend as she had given birth with Kim Ok Jin at her clinic in Asan! While it was still a distance away, it was another option to present my husband.

Surprisingly enough, Rosa/Kim Ok Jin recommended we try the birthing center that is 400m from our apartment, Bless Birth of Bucheon. She was willing to take me on as a client but due to the distance and my husband’s reluctance she said we should try our closest option first. I called Karen and she also recommended trying this option after hearing what we had found. IF I am forced for whatever reason to have another C-section, the hospital will still be in our own area and my husband’s concerns about being able to see me and the baby if we are hospitalized would be relieved.

As it stands now we have an appointment Friday morning at Bless Birth to meet and discuss our VBAC with the midwives and nursing staff. Hopefully things will go well and we can focus more on the preparedness part of the VBAC journey! To that end we will be doing the Hypnobabies Home Study program.

I’ve decided to compile all the links to people, clinics and resources I’ve talked about so far in my lengthy blogging!

Natural Birthing Centers:

Rosa/ Kim Ok Jin’s OK Birth center in Asan http://www.okbirth.com/xe/

Bless Birth in Bucheon http://www.blessbirth.com/

Dr. Chung’s Medi-Flower OBGYN and Natural Birth Center in Seocho http://www.mediflower.co.kr/index.htm

Doulas:

Lisa Fincaryck http://www.birthinginkorea.com/

Karen Zamperini http://www.morningcalmdoulas.com/

Other Resources:

“The Thinking Women’s Guide to Better Birth” by Henci Goer http://www.hencigoer.com/betterbirth/

Hypnobabies Self Hypnosis for Childbirth http://www.hypnobabies.com/

Hypno Birthing, The Mongan Method, Self Hypnosis for Childbirth http://www.hypnobirthing.com/

Informative blog about Cesareans http://www.theunnecesarean.com/

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

Mommy Cha

Why I am Going to VBAC- Part 2: Bait and Switch

Our Happy Family!

* VERY LONG READ!

As part of our preparation for the Kimchi Kid, we decided to study Hypnobirthing. We both were a bit skeptical at first but we quickly grew to love the class and the concept. My husband was so impressed he told every expectant father he met that they HAD to try it! In terms of reducing our fears about birth and teaching us about the birthing process, we were really impressed. We knew very little, we expected birth to be scary and painful. But thanks to Hypnobirthing not only were we excited and positive about the birthing process but we decided to try for a completely natural birth, something we had never previously considered.

As part of our preparation we took our doctor our natural birthing plan, in English and Korean. This spelled out very clearly our hopes and preferences for our birth experience. These included:

· No IV.

· A private labour and delivery room.

· The ability to move around as I saw fit.

· No shaving.

· No episiotomy.

· Light food and drinks.

· The cord to stop pulsing before cutting.

· Immediate breastfeeding.

Our doctor spoke English well and asked for some time to review the birthing plan. At our next appointment he agreed to everything we asked, except for the food part. Drinks were ok, food was not. We were so happy we had found such a forward thinking doctor and only 5 minutes from our home! We had heard so many horror stories of birthing in Korea that we had expected the worst. Little did we know that we were actually being set up for a “bait and switch” birth experience.

When we were almost full term, our doctor informed us that the Kimchi Kid was measuring over 4kg. In South Korea this is considered an automatic C-section. We laughed off his concerns and to appease him agreed to meet with the surgeon, just in case. She was a lovely lady and we assured her that with my wide hips and family birth history we would be fine. She smiled and explained the C-section process, just in case.

When I went into labour, we were very calm and relaxed. I listened to my iPod and labored on the toilet, the most comfortable place in my home. When the surges (contractions) became 3 minutes apart, around 6 hours after starting timing, we called the hospital. They told us to come in and we excitedly headed to the hospital, confident that we would have our gorgeous son with us soon!

Upon arrival I was put on a bed in a communal labour room. The OR was in my line of vision with a very unhappy sounding woman in it. The bed next to me had another unhappy sounding woman in it and I had to lie on my back and wait for them to check us. I questioned my husband as to why we weren’t being shown to our private room and he asked the nurse. They had no idea, but with some hurried discussion finally agreed and sent us to a room. The nurse came in to check my dilation, I was 3cm gone and she said it would probably take about 7 hours more. We were excited and confident that those 7 hours would fly by!

Shortly after a different nurse arrived and told my husband that I was to be put on an IV. We said no, that was not in our plan, ask the doctor. She was shocked and left quickly. Another nurse came, this time to shave me. Again, we declined, a little annoyed this time and she also was shocked. I moved to the toilet in our room for more comfort and our doctor finally came. We said we were surprised that no one knew of our plan, but he brushed it off. He told me I could sit on the toilet but not birth their (of course) and sad I was doing well, “better than he expected”. At the time we just laughed at their lack of faith and preparedness.

Things were going so well that we had an extra bed rolled in so my husband could sleep. He took a nap, I relaxed and the surges got closer and closer. I was now feeling the every 1 minute or so, with minimal rest between, but doing well. At this point a nurse came in and asked me to lay on the bed for an exam. I climbed up and lay on my back. The nurse then strapped on a fetal monitor and waited. For me, it felt like an eternity! Finally I demanded to know what she was waiting for and she replied she was waiting for contractions. I shouted that I was HAVING them, constantly, hurry up and check me! She finally examined me for dilation and to our disappointment we found that we had only progressed to 4cm after 6 hours.

During the time I was laying on my back, the surges became more painful and centered in my lower back; I was eager to get off the bed and back to my toilet but quickly discovered that something had changed. I struggled to get back to my relaxed state, listening to my iPod and sitting on the toilet. Very quickly I realized the pain was becoming unbearable and I woke my husband and demanded that we get an epidural. This is where things went wrong…

My husband called the nurse who came and told him I could NOT have an epidural. We were shocked, this had never occurred to us, so he demanded she call the doctor. We had to wait for the doctor to come and when he arrived he informed us that I could NOT have an epidural due to my WEIGHT. I was over 90kg at this point in pregnancy and he said that they did not have a large enough needle for me! I was beginning to get very stressed, I had no break between surges and the pain was awful. I asked what our options were. The doctor told us I could have a C-section or I could move to the larger University hospital which was older, had a bad reputation and I did not like from previous visits. I told him that neither were options for us and I would continue.

I struggled back to my toilet, in tears now, going out of my mind with the pain. I breathed, I did my Hypnobirthing exercises, and I listened to the iPod. Finally I staggered out and shouted at my husband, “CUT ME OPEN AND TAKE MY BABY OUT!” My poor husband was as unprepared as I was and quickly called the doctor. The speed with which they took over was remarkable.

I was immediately put back on the bed, an IV was inserted, fetal monitor attached, a nurse shaved me and we were whisked into the operating room. The room was brightly lit, fully staffed and it seemed to me to be very short notice for a 4am procedure at a small private hospital. They moved me to the operating table, told me they would attempt a spinal twice and if it did not work I would be given a general anesthetic. They rolled me to my side, inserted the needle on the first try and bliss flooded my body. I cried my thanks to the doctor and they laughed. I said I could continue now, but they had already cut me open. THE KIMCHI KID WAS BORN!

I was in a haze after this. I remember wondering where my baby and husband were. I remember shaking, uncontrollably, my teeth chattering in recovery so badly I couldn’t speak. I remember piles of warm blankets heaped upon me. I think I remember seeing my baby, but since it was also the first photo I have of him, it may be a false memory. The next thing I remembered was being moved to a bed and told not to sit up or move for 18 hours lest I suffer excruciating head pain. Then I slept.

When I woke again, it was day. I was alone and my husband had gone to work! Not having been in a Korean hospital we had no idea that this was going to be a problem. Around noon a student‘s family arrived. They had been close to us for a year and the mother was a nurse. She tried to get Thomas from the nursery for me but my husband had accidentally taken the “ticket” that allows you to “check” your baby out of the nursery. After a few hours they left and my husband arrived with the ticket. Finally I was able to see and hold my baby. Thomas slept the whole visit and was returned to the nursery. My husband left to teach and I was alone again.

Around 6pm another woman was rolled into my room. She had also had a C-section. She was as out of it as I had been and slept several hours. I then noticed that her mother had to do certain hygienic things for her that I had expected a nurse to do. I was shocked and dismayed to realize I had been there 12 hours longer and NOTHING had been done for me. I was so embarrassed to inform my husband of this when he returned and ask him to do them for me. He was equally shocked but we did what we had to do.

The rest of our stay continued in the same vein. Thomas was in the nursery all night. He came for a few visits during the day and I nursed him. He slept most of the time and I rested. My husband had to help me do EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING! We begged to be released and were told 7 days was the minimum stay. Finally we were allowed to leave on the 5^th day as I had healed so well. At this point I hadn’t been with my son for more than 4 hours at a time. The nurses were useless for the whole stay, even refusing to fetch me more diapers when I ran out despite the fact that I could barely walk, I had my baby in the room with me, I was alone and the nursery was on a different floor from where we were! I was so relieved to get home to the comfort of my own bed and the support of the amazing helper/nanny who is still with us to this day!

We ended up with a happy and healthy baby, who through the joys of co-sleeping, baby wearing and breastfeeding was never fussy and the apple of our eyes. Teething was a breeze, solids feeding, walking at 9mths, toilet training, etc. All milestones he has reached easily and happily. So we never really thought about our birth experience. That is, until we became pregnant again.

After the Kimchi Kid was born I became a member of an Expat Parents group here in Seoul. I finally met many other mothers in similar situations here and I made some wonderful friends. One of the mothers I met was Mama Seoul, who was a very strong advocate for VBAC, something we had never thought of. Through discussions with her, links on her website and so on, I slowly became re-educated about birth. What I learned surprised me and raised some concerns about returning to our hospital.

My husband however was unconvinced. He saw me heal well, saw our son grow and thrive, and remembered the difficulty of my stay in the hospital. He was convinced the easiest thing to do was simply schedule a repeat C-section. The fact that he was also teaching the child of my C-section doctor reinforced this decision in his mind after I became pregnant. She informed him that we could easily have 3, even 4 C-sections with no major problems, she did it all the time!

We agreed to a compromise. If we had a girl, I would have a C-section. Another boy, then we would try to VBAC. This worked well until we discovered we WERE having a boy!

My doctor had slowly stopped speaking English to me and had started speaking only Korean, and only to my husband, despite ME asking him direct questions in English. This annoyed us both but we let it slide. Then my blood test came back with high protein levels. We had a 2^nd test done and it also had high protein levels. I was concerned, but the doctor CALLED my husband and TOLD him over the phone that I had to have an amniocentesis and that Koreans would consider termination in this case. The look on my husband’s face was one I will NEVER forget, and I am crying just typing this and remembering it now.

I was devastated, HE was devastated and I called my closest friends, my doula friend, and then googled the HELL out of AFP and amniocentesis! We made an urgent appointment for the next morning at a different hospital as I REFUSED to go back to a doctor who treated us with so little respect that he didn’t offer an alternative and dropped the word TERMINATION so casually over the phone.

We spent 3 hours at the new clinic, Medi-Flower, which is 1.5hours away. Dr. Chung was so patient and caring, he listened to us, and gave us our options, the first of which was an intensive ultrasound with a doctor of radiology to check for any possible defects. This took 1 hour itself and we were given the all clear with 99.9% assurance that our baby, Baby Graham, was fine. We then toured the facility and I showed my husband the birthing tub and room I had decided to birth in. We never went back to our old hospital and I am so happy with our decision!

The 3^rd and FINAL part of my story will be HOW I am preparing for a VBAC, what obstacles we have encountered and the final WHY! Thanks for reading so far!

Love,

Mommy Cha

Why I am Going to VBAC- Part 1: Birth of the Kimchi Kid

My baby is getting so big!!

* WARNING-VERY LONG POST!!

When we first found out we were pregnant with the Kimchi Kid, we were ecstatic!
My husband called it, I was feeling ill and we had started trying to conceive, so he said to me "You're pregnant!". I laughed him off, no way we hit it on the first time we tried! 1 week later I took the test and surprise surprise- we were pregnant!

From that day on we entered the Korean medical birthing system. Not really knowing what to expect and not having any resources to reference here we did what we thought best.

The first hospital we went to was recommended by the mothers of many of our students. However it was so busy that after 2 visits with 2 different doctors and being told we couldn't make appointments even 1 month in advance due to their busy schedule, we changed.

We visited a woman's clinic in our building with a very sweet older female doctor. She wouldn't be able to deliver but would do our prenatal care and she promised to attend the birth to support me. We were very happy and I crawled into her clinic several times throughout the next few months due to undiagnosed gallstones that were causing me great pain and sickness.

When it got close to our due date, we went to the hospital she had recommended but I didn't like the doctor. He was an older Korean man who spoke only to my husband and made no attempt at English. I decided we needed to try another option, so we went to the "expensive" hospital in our area.

"Expensive" in Korea was a relative term we discovered. We had been having ultrasounds every 2 weeks when we went to the woman doctor. Again, 1st time parents, we had no idea this was not normal. We paid around $20/20,000won each time. The "expensive" hospital charged $30/30,000won. Not much more but way too much according to many Koreans we spoke to! But the benefit of the "expensive" hospital, Samsung Mirae, was that the doctor spoke excellent English and was willing to speak to me and not just my husband! I was sold!

Around this time I decided we would try Hypnobirthing in preparation for our birth. While my husband was initially skeptical, he quickly warmed up and became a wholehearted supporter of my plan for a natural birth and Hypnobirthing.

As part of our classes we were given a Korean and English birth plan. We took this to our English speaking doctor at Samsung Mirae. He asked for some time to read over it but later agreed to everything we asked, including no shaving, no IV, a private room, the chance to move around at will, light food and beverages, cutting the cord after it ceased pulsing, etc. We were thrilled that we had found such an excellent doctor who was so forward thinking!

As we approached our due date, our doctor informed us that our son was measuring over 4kg. In South Korea, a 4kg or greater baby is considered an automatic C-section. We scoffed at this, stating that my hips could handle it and we would be fine. Nevertheless he asked us to have a consultation with the surgeon. We laughingly obliged him, thinking that it wouldn't hurt and it would reassure him.

When I went over my due date, I was given 1 week before induction would be considered. Friday was the induction day so with my Hypnobirthing instructor's support, we focused on Wednseday, May 7, 2008 as the date that the Kimchi Kid would arrive naturally! We put all our positive energy and thoughts into this in order to avoid an induction.

Tuesday May 6, 2008 I woke up feeling fluish. I just felt crampy and crabby. I remember calling my husband at 4pm crying, asking him to come home as I felt miserable and wanted him there. We had a house guest visiting from Japan and she arrived home around 6pm. At this point we realized I was in labour, and we began timing. I spent most of my time listening to my relaxation tracks on the ipod, spending the contractions sitting on the toilet where I was most comfortable.
My husband and our guest amused themselves playing Nintendo Wii and checking on me.

By 9pm our contractions had moved to around 4 minutes apart. I told my husband to call our hospital and they said to come in when they were 3 minutes apart. I had passed a large amount of mucous and fluid by this point as well. 1hour later we left for the hospital!

Our arrival at the hospital was met with a lot of confusion. We were placed in a bed in a general ward area. It was empty, but there was a woman in the OR nearby crying in pain. I was told to lay on the bed and labour until they could check me. My husband asked why we were not going to the private room we had requested which resulted in a lot of hushed consultation between the staff members.

They finally moved us to our room, and I was so happy to get off the bed! A nurse came in to shave me, and insert an IV. We laughed her off and she was shocked! They had no clue regarding our birth plan, which looking back should have been a red flag. My doctor came in and told me I was doing great and could labour on the toilet but would have to move for delivery, which was fine. The toilet was most comfortable for me to sit on and I sat there in the dark listening to the ipod while my husband took a nap on the bed. Upon admission I was 3cm dilated. The nurse said she expected us to deliver in around 7 hours.

Around 2am, the nurse came in to check my dilation again. Moving from my comfort zone of the toilet and dark bathroom to the hard, flat bed with bright lights was unsettling. She then made me lay flat on my back for the exam. It seemed to me she was taking forever to check me, and had strapped the monitor on my belly. I asked her what she was waiting for and she replied she was waiting for contractions. I replied I was having them, check me NOW! Finally she checked me and to our great disappointment had only moved to 4cm.

As soon as she was done I moved back to the toilet, only to find I was unable to get back to my relaxed state. Even worse, I was now suffering strong contractions in my lower back. I was struggling to deal with this back labour as my contractions were so close together and so long, I had no real relief. I sent my husband to ask for an epidural which was when we received a great shock!

According to the nurse, I could not have an epidural. Having expected this to be an option, we demanded to speak to the doctor. He came in and informed us that due to my excess weight(over 90kg) they had no needles large enough for the epidural. I had the choice of transferring to the local University hospital, which was old, dirty and had a bad reputation, or having a C-section. I chose to continue labouring, insisting that I could do it on my own.

This new stress was not helpful to returning to a relaxed state and I quickly devolved into a bawling, miserable mess. After another hour I begged my husband to "Cut me open and take my baby out!". He called the nurse and within minutes I was IVed, shaved and wheeled into an operating room full of people. I remember being moved onto the operating bed and being told they would be inserting a needle in my spine for the anesthetic. I thought it was odd that I couldn't have an epidural but they could give me a spinal for surgery. I was in such pain I remember shouting "Contraction!" at them with each contraction as they prepared to insert the needle.

They made it on the 1st try, despite their worries that it may not work, and I was washed with cool pain relief. I thanked them with tears in my eyes and then said I could continue to labour if that was ok. They laughed and I was already cut open and my son was being born. It was the most curious feeling, the tugging and pulling, it really felt like he was coming out vaginally not abdominally. They showed him to me briefly then whisked him away. The doctor said everything was fine and he was being cared for in the nursery. I was wheeled into the recovery room and heating blankets were heaped on me. I was shaking with cold and my teeth were chattering, but they finally brought my son to me and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Everything else was gone, the pain, the stress, the failure to have a natural birth, etc. We had a beautiful, healthy baby boy!

Heaped with blankets in the recovery room, looking at my gorgeous son!

I was wheeled into a 2 person room and told that I had to lay flat on my back for the next 18 hours or I would suffer the worst headache of my life. The Kimchi Kid was put in the nursery and my husband was given a "ticket" to check him out when needed. I was exhausted and sent my husband home so I could rest. The silly man slept a few hours and then went to work, much to the shock of our school and my annoyance! Unfortunately he also took the ticket with him, which meant nothing to me until later.

Around noon the mother of some of my students arrived to check on me. She was also a nurse and spoke excellent English, so I was very happy to see her. She asked to see the baby and I sent her to the nursery to get him for me as I also hadn't seen him since the birth. She returned with the worst news- we couldn't have MY baby without the ticket! My husband wasn't able to return to the hospital until 4pm so I had no chance to see my son without the ticket. It was very frustrating and upsetting to say the least!


When my husband finally returned, I was so happy to see and touch my beautiful son. But seeing as I had to remain flat on my back for many more hours, the most I could do was awkwardly hold him on my chest.

My first chance to touch my son, more than 12hours after his birth.

Holding my son for the first time, more than 12 hours after his birth.

When he became hungry we had to return him to the nursery as we had no support and no clue that we could even attempt breastfeeding at this point. Around 6pm that evening another woman who had also had a C-section was wheeled into my room. We both slept most of the evening and around midnight her mother, father and husband came into the room with her baby. The baby quickly became fussy and was crying, causing arguments between the family members and disturbing my rest. Luckily a nurse came, whisked the baby away and shooed the men out. Her mother stayed in the room for the night and this was also when I first realized that no one was taking care of some important things for me. My poor husband had to take care of many messy and vital bodily functions for the first few days of recovery.

I moved to a private room the next day as soon as I could sit up. I wanted to have my son with me as much as possible and begin breastfeeding. The lactation consultant came and started me off, we seemed to do very well! But when night came, back to the nursery Thomas went. I was unable to get out of bed and walk and nurses would not bring him to me for feeding. My husband snores so badly that I couldn't have him spend the night so I had to wait until morning to see my son again and try feeding. By the 3rd day he was getting the hang of it and I kept him in the room with me all day. I had to send him to the nursery again at night but on the 4th day I was walking around and holding him more, feeding him well. It was also the first time he really seemed to open his eyes and look at me, 4 days after his birth! He was so sleepy and kept his eyes so tightly scrunched we had no idea if he had the grey blue eyes we had hoped for or not! (They were but quickly changed to brown.)

The first time he really looked at me, 4 days after birth!

By the 5th day I was healed enough to convince my doctor that we could go home. It was a wonderful homecoming for us and we were so thrilled to have our gorgeous son in our own home! I also met the doumi ajumma, or helper aunt, who would stay with us for the next 2.5 years.

Welcome home! 5 days after birth.

Overall we were just so in love with our son that we didn't pay any attention to what had happened or why. That is, until now during our 2nd pregnancy.

I'll write about why we now want to VBAC(Vaginal Birth After Caesarean), why we have changed to a hospital 1 hour away and what new information and resources we have now that we didn't before in my next post!

Cheers for now!
Mommy Cha

Christmas 2010

I DID IT!! I designed my cards, put in addresses and sent them on their way! Shutterfly made it super easy to do and saved everything for future reference. Now i can easily pop gifts and cards in the mail for special occasions with lovely photos of the Kimchi Kid and Kimchi Kid #2 when he arrives!
Yay for technology! Thank you Shutterfly!

Family Snowfall Midnight Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Shutterfly Holiday Cards-Family, you may actually get cards this Christmas!!

Hello all! Mommy Cha here! I just found out about a wonderful site called "Shutterfly"!
Thanks to a great posting by Mama Seoul , I have found a solution that will work for me!

As many of you(family and friends) who live outside of South Korea may have noticed, I am awful at getting to the post office to mail gifts, cards, photos, etc. I actually wrote cards when I was pregnant with the Kimchi Kid, addressed them and left them in my office until after his 1st birthday when I mailed them out for Christmas! So bad, I know! To make things worse, they didn't even have a photo of the Kimchi Kid in them, so I am sure everyone was disappointed to not see his shining face looking out from a Christmas greeting!

This is where Shutterfly comes to the rescue!
They offer GORGEOUS, glossy, colourful and creative holiday cards for amazing prices! Cards you can customize and add your own photos to! Cards like these lovely Christmas cards! I just love the many different designs they offer! From this lovely traditional styled card :

*Obviously not our family, but imagine how GOOD we would look on this card!

To these fun and funky Modern styled Christmas greetings:

*Cute kid, but nowhere near as cute as The Kimchi Kid! Right? RIGHT!?!

If it wasn't enough to know that I could order my Christmas Cards, I can also order them in 3 different styles! The cards are available as Folded Greeting Cards which allow you to put "photos and wishes inside and out", Flat Stationery Cards in "stylish designs frame your photos" or Flat Photo Cards which allow you to "send holiday love (for less)"!

There are so many choices, my only worry is choosing them in time for Christmas delivery! Luckily Shutterfly makes that easy for me too! They can stamp and mail my cards DIRECTLY! No more worries about me getting to the post office on time this year!

I wish I had discovered Shutterfly earlier, because it isn't just about Christmas cards, as awesome as they may be! They offer a variety of custom services, several of which I have used from Korean companies in the past. The benefit to me is that with Shutterfly I understand what is going on as it is all in English and I can ship it directly to my family instead of waiting for it to arrive here and then sending it on my own.

*Now no one will forget important days like Mommy Cha and The Kimchi Kid's birthdays!

One of those things is Wall Calendars. I have an adorable calendar on my wall of the Kimchi Kid in his Halloween costume from 2009. My in-laws in Texas also have one. Why doesn't the rest of my family? For the simple reason that my Korean future-SIL ordered and posted it to my in-laws and gave one to me. I would have loved to send a copy to everyone in Canada, but alas, my language skills failed me and I gave up. Now with Shutterfly I can send an awesome calendar to all my family members so they can enjoy the Kimchi Kid 365 days a year!

*Come visit us in South Korea and make YOUR OWN "Asian Adventure"!

The other thing I have done is created Photo Books for my sister and my nephew to commemorate their visit to South Korea in January of 2009. It took me hours on the Korean website to create the books and in the end, the whole process failed because I hadn't used Internet Explorer and the final submit button wouldn't display! I had written a personalized story to accompany the photos in my nephew's photo book and I had to re-write the whole thing! In the end the formatting and paragraphing was a little strange as well, due to the language differences between Korean and English. The saving grace was that he absolutely loved it, still does, and will gladly pull it out to read and pore over the pictures.
Customized Photo Books are awesome gifts for children, if you haven't tried it, I would highly recommend doing so! Be creative, write a narrative about the photos that the child can read on their own. Spice it up with some adventure or funny anecdotes! It will become a gift the whole family will love and treasure for years to come!

So now you may be wondering, why all the Shutterfly love?
Beyond making my life so much easier and allowing me to share the adorable Kimchi Kid with everyone, they have a great holiday promotion on right now!
Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly, follow the arrow à http://bit.ly/sfly2010

How can you resist the lure of Shutterfly's awesome cards, calendars, books and more, especially when you can get 50 free cards just for writing about them?? I know I couldn't!

So if you want a gorgeous Christmas card from Mommy Cha and the Kimchi Kid, be sure to give me your address so I can send one your way!

Cheers!
Mommy Cha

Let's Play Catch-Up! Part 1

Who's that kid?? The Kimchi Kid, that's who! He's back and better than ever!

Hello everyone, so sorry for the delay in blogging! The Kimchi Kid and I have been very busy, and the Kimchi Kid #2 gave me the worst morning, noon and night sickness!

Showing off my burgeoning baby bump!

BABY CATCH-UP!
To start, I had to take time off work in September due to my morning sickness. I was unable to keep any food down every time I ate. A good day meant that 1 meal or snack didn't come back up, and those days were few and far between. I was also having trouble sleeping, so I had no energy for even the basic aspects of life like caring for my son let alone trying to teach rambunctious Korean kindergarten students. Luckily my work was very understanding and allowed me to take time off to rest.

Through the first trimester I was frequently reassured that I MUST be having a girl since my first pregnancy was nothing like this and so many friends who had girls had suffered morning sickness like this. Since a girl was what we wanted, this made us excited to find out the gender! Surely this would be the much desired daughter! My MIL and I both had dreams of me giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. Koreans have a lot of superstitions regarding pregnancy and this was considered a very strong sign that we were having a girl.

The only problem was the Kimchi Kid. Thomas was frequently asked about his sibling, and he always replied "형", which means "older brother" in Korean. We laughed and thought this meant that he wanted an older brother instead of a younger sibling. However when our doumi returned to us after her 6month long to China, she informed us that often Koreans believe the older sibling can identify the gender of the new sibling best. So she asked Thomas the morning of our scan, what was the gender of his new sibling. Thomas replied "남자" which means "male". We laughed and told the doumi he keeps asking for "형" and we were all sure it was a girl.

When we arrived at the doctor's we asked him to check the gender for us. Usually this is not done in Korea, but as I am a foreigner here, I was able to get the doctor to do so. At first he thought he wouldn't be able to find out, but he was able to get the angle right and showed us what we were waiting for.

The "bits"! It is a BOY! Surprise!

Can you tell what that blurry picture is? It was much clearer in the office and the original print of the scan. That is Kimchi Kid #2's penis. That's right, we were all wrong and only Thomas was right! We're having another boy!

After the doctor told us and showed us the news, he proceeded to check on the rest of the baby. I was shocked and asked him if he was sure it wasn't the umbilical cord. He laughed at me, moved the scan back and showed us again what was very obviously a boy. My first reaction was to cry, which caused a lot of laughter in the doctor's office. Eventually we realized this would be for the best, for Thomas and for us. We'll save so much money on clothing and toys, and the Kimchi Kid will have an awesome playmate which is why we always wanted to have a second child.

When we came home and told doumi, she also cried. She had just finished hand washing a delicate pink sweater I had worn as an infant. She was so proud of managing to remove the ugly stain on it and was so excited to see our beautiful baby girl, she simply couldn't believe she was wrong! Even now she is convinced our next check up will show the doctor to be wrong and that we are having the girl everyone longs for! ^.^

The Kimchi Kid waiting for our flight to the USA.

TRAVEL CATCH-UP!
I had introduced a friend of ours to my BIL almost 2 years ago. They had an MSN relationship that culminated in meeting in person at the Kimchi Kid's 1st Birthday party in May 2009. As my BIL lives in Texas their relationship was mostly long distance, daily Skype calls, e-mails and a few visits over the past 2 years. This Summer my BIL decided enough was enough and asked our friend to marry him. We were so excited and threw a good-bye/bridal shower for her! A whirlwind of paperwork ensued and she was on her way to a new life in Austin, Texas in August of this year.

Bridal shower cupcakes made by Gerry of Butter Sugar Cream! Delicious and gorgeous! Bridal bouquets, linked wedding rings and the couple's initials in white chocolate!

We were very excited for them and the wedding was planned for 10/10/10 (October 10, 2010) in Las Vegas. We informed the family that we'd be unable to attend, but they had other plans. As a result we had a whirlwind of planning of our own to do! Thomas and I had to leave Daddy behind due to his work, but we flew to Austin, Texas for 11 days. We then flew with the family to Las Vegas, Nevada for 2 days. I had booked tickets from Las Vegas to Victoria, BC, Canada to see my family as well. We stayed in Victoria for 6 days and then headed to Nanaimo, BC for 4 days before returning back to Korea.

One of the few outings in Austin, Texas. Zilker Park playground. He wore his Texas Longhorns jersey because it was a game day!

I was extremely sick for the majority of the time in Austin, Texas. My morning sickness was either aggravated by the jet-lag or some greasy Mexican food that caused me to have food-poisioning. I ended up in bed for almost 3 days, so sick and weak that I was almost ready to go to the hospital despite the cost. Poor Thomas was so upset by my illness that he became extremely clingy and terrified of his grandparents. It made for a hard visit to say the least.
Every time his grandmother tried to take him he began screaming, crying and shouting "할머니 무서워!" which means "Grandmother is scary!" The trip to Texas ended up being an exhausting round of hysterical toddler, draining shopping trips and hours spent on the couch watching TV.

To make matters worse, the wedding was canceled 5 days before we were due to fly to Las Vegas! My friend had been having a hard time adjusting to life in Texas and was very depressed. Her mother had also begun to pressure her to return to South Korea since she felt that my BIL was not a good person. This was due to the fact that he had not flown to South Korea to visit his future in-laws. Despite being offered airfare to come to Texas to meet the family, which they refused, my friend's parents were adamant that she not marry my BIL! This put her under a lot of stress and eventually she made the decision to honour her parents wishes. Since so many of our family had booked tickets and hotel rooms, the decision was made to turn the trip into a mini-family reunion!

Thomas checking out the scuba maintenance guys in front of the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas.

Not having been to Las Vegas with a child before and knowing that we were staying at the Bellagio hotel, I thought it would be a nice trip. The day before we flew my morning sickness seemed to pass and I was excited to go. Thomas was excited to go on another "비행기", "airplane", and I thought we could spend time in the pool.

I was not anticipating the constant battles to drag him away from the slot machines with all their flashing lights and sounds. To get to any restaurant, exit the hotel or get to our room, you HAD to walk through the casino. I was also shocked to realize that all casinos are smoking areas, so we had to walk through clouds of cigarette stench at all hours. My BIL was great at chasing the Kimchi Kid down and carrying him when I was unable to. We had brought a stroller that worked at confining him but he would often cry "내려줘!" which meant "Let me down!".

Las Vegas was most definitely not child or stroller friendly. To get anywhere you have to walk over moving sidewalks or pedestrian overpasses. Escalators are everywhere and elevators were often out of service. The moving sidewalks often had signs posted on them saying "NO STROLLERS". Each Casino on the strip was huge, meaning to get from one to another required lots of walking in the hot sun. The sun was magnified by the shiny glass buildings and lack of shade on the sidewalks. All of this combines to drive people indoors to the dark and cool casinos where they will most likely gamble away, but if you have a child, it makes for a miserable time!

Thomas being cute inside the Shark Reef at the Mandaly Bay Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada.

It took us close to 2 hours to get to the Mandalay Bay Shark Reef on our last day. This was due to the convoluted route required to walk there and the fact that you have to walk almost 30min INSIDE the casino just to get to the aquarium! Despite the glowing advertisements and expectations, it was much smaller than the COEX aquarium here in Korea and we were all exhausted by the end. This was meant to be the highlight of our 2 days with Thomas in Vegas, so it was very disappointing.

In the end, I was very happy to leave Las Vegas and head to Canada to see my family!

More on that later, I need a break! ^.~ Catch-up part 2, The AWESOME trip to Canada coming soon!